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All4uraddiction.com is the online magazine that our newest  Don’t Label My Kid! team member Jenny Clark founded. Please click below and check out all the great addiction resources and make sure to join over 10k others and subscribe now!

While Pastor Matt brings extensive pastoral, counseling and blog writing experience to the team, and Mike Carey his own incredible natural recipes for ridding the body of diseases like liver cancer and Hep. C. , Jenny Clark also has her own brand of service and we are super excited to add her to the list of professionals who make this team of resources up. Read about her experience with addictions and other professional milestones by clicking the blue link at the bottom and make sure once in the magazine to subscribe for your emailed version quarterly.

As we all know many of us and our following are specifically here for the addictions piece and posts we have on a regular basis. We want to continue to build our resource base for those of you who are addicts, have loved ones or friends who are, or are in groups at church like recovery groups etc.  Jenny’s magazine adds a wealth of resources and options for those struggling including programs and service cater to addicts.

Please post  her link on you site if you write about addiction so others can take advantage of this awesome resource. We welcome Jenny and have plans to expand our services for addicts even more as we are able.  Podcasts, seminars and lots of other options are being looked at so we can really be a very  effective resource for those suffering from the disease of addiction.

By the way If anyone ever approaches you about this site and says ” Is Don’t Label My Kid! A site for kids? Addicts? Parenting? Spiritual guidance? Teen behaviors? Or mental health, here is your answer below….

YES!

We are about the family. The family is made up of mental health issues, parenting issues, addictions issues, health and nutritional issues, behavioral issues with teens and children, death, grief, suicide, abuse and much more. Here at Don’t Label My Kid! we aim to be a one stop shop for all things family and all the things I mentioned and more. The team you see on the menu on the homepage is not here by accident.

Our goal is to have the very best of the best people with credentials and experience that will serve to make a difference in your life as issues come up. Pastor Matt is a guy with 3 degrees in counseling and religion related studies who has a heart for people who have been hurt by the church ( and who has not in the time we are in?) and focuses on writing for his blog and this blog as well as pastors a church that he started!

You know about my background in social work, mental health and addictions.

Mike Carey at   alternativesolutions4health.com is our resident nutritional expert who has quite the track record of 38 years of assisting people who are very sick with disease, rid their bodies of the actual disease, not just treat symptoms. Many times in a week or two. His success rate is 98%. Together we have 100+ years experience . Our long-term goal is to take this thing a step further and make our team members available  for virtual counseling and coaching on any of the issues we address–worldwide. You may not realize this but we have followers from 148 countries and guess what? They have the same problems we do. So building out this site to support us doing this is a big deal. We believe it will happen and now that our team has rounded out so nicely we can focus more on doing that.

Just to clarify, we have been providing consulting and counseling services on any of the issues I have discussed above. However it is done mainly via email, Skype and the phone. So you can still  get help for whatever your issues are just not through a virtual site yet.

Email or call me to set up services of any kind.

Tim@dontlabelmykid.com

386-675-7549

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We all believe we were put here for a reason. We also believe that each of you is here for a reason. Our job is to help others with the training and life experiences we have had in the areas we operate in. Don’t deprive your own family or another of getting some healing and help. Remember you do not know how many times they may have called out to others or God for help. If you are the vessel chosen to share the hope and help of this service with them, do your duty and sleep well tonite.

If need be we work with you financially according to your ability to repay and I guarantee it is always much less than traditional rates of you go into an office and pay 125-200$/ Hr for sessions and 300$ for assessments. If you need help and you are not getting it then it is your own fault because we don’t charge those rates and we work with you if you are going through a difficult time. Never let your family health suffer over money. That is one of the reasons we are here!

Everyone has friends, neighbors or loved ones who are desperately seeking or at least needing help on one of the areas we help with. If they do not know about our services than SHAME on YOU!

Let your loved ones and friends know they can get help at a place where they will not be turned away or judged in a 100% confidential setting. For the record we do NOT report to anyone about our client’s mental or behavioral issues so unlike an office and a doctor, who is required to inform people of diagnoses under certain circumstances we do not reveal to anyone your personal history. Many times a doctor’s office will be required to report certain  illnesses to your employer or others you really do not need in your business. We do not discuss your situation with anyone unless you ask us to, like if you have a court situation where you have to prove you got help with anger management or counseling for addiction and all, we count.

What happens at Don’t Label My Kid!- Stays at Don’t Label Kid!

Now take some time to browse All4uraddicton the magazine. You will be amazed !

Have a blessed day and please remember right now to make the call to anyone you know who needs help and for whatever reason is not getting it. You never know what you may be preventing. Many people today are just one cut down away from hurting themselves.

The Holidays are a terrible time statically for suicide and depression. If you are aware of anyone who is suffering-don’t make them go through another year alone. Tell them about us. Many times the only thing stopping a person who needs help from getting help is the lack of support or encouragement to make the call, or in some cases, I have made the call for others who just needed a boost to get help.

Here is the magazine for you to browse and become familiar with-again subscibe so you will get each edition.

DLMK! Team Member Jenny Clark’s Successful Addiction Referral Magazine Click Here And Remember To Subscribe!

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Check Out The Addiction Magazine In Our Circle Now! Jenny Clark Is Founder!

I was thinking recently about the world. The way people act, the things people say and the way people treat each other in general. Of course it is part of my career and background to identify how people see themselves. I am talking not just about areas I happen to be educated in or any special training. I am talking the basics. If you are a person who believes in God, you read the Bible then you may call it sowing and reaping. You may like to call it mind over matter, or aligning yourself with the universe, whatever the case it matters not for this topic.

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I am talking about actually speaking and believing in what you have decided to pursue. For example, in my work and counsel to families over the years, I address behaviors and words, and the link between them. Whatever behavior is causing a problem had to start as a thought, right? So somewhere between the thought and the action was a decision that had to be made. In my case, I often teach parents that pointing out negative behavior all of the time to their children will never produce a change for the better. Then they usually look at me funny and ask what they should be doing. This little tiny nugget that I learned when I was a young college student has proved to change lives in a matter of days. In this scenario, the nugget is that positive reinforcement is the only way a parent will see improvement that is meaningful in their child.

What? Usually I hear something like this ” I never see them doing anything good!” So now we are at the key area that a parent will either accept, learn and change, or they will resist and continue down a failing path and become more stressed and see more problems some even resulting in health issues by now. So lets take the route to improvement right now, and say we are all parents and we all want to see a change in behavior in our kids. What would need to happen is this;

We would all need to adjust our thinking a bit to line up with what will produce good results. Staying with our scenario, we all would begin to ” catch our kids being good”- I know, it is totally against the flow, which psychology says is about 15 negative comments to every positive comment we give to our child. That is about average in an average home, and usually goes something like this ” Stop talking back!”- ” Clean your room!”- ” You better watch your mouth” and on it goes until we have racked up a dozen or so negative comments in a matter of hours. So we need to change our thinking to stop with the critical comments, and begin to train ourselves to listen and watch for what you DO want to see, and jump all over it with simple praise, such as ” Thanks for having your room clean, it looks great!” or ” Thanks for using a calm voice when we talked earlier, it really helped me understand what you were trying to say”. I think you get the idea, we want to take the 15:1 ratio and turn it around, by exchanging one type of comment for another to attain desired results. The reality is, the only way humans change behavioral patterns is by positive and consistent reinforcement of the desired behavior. That goes for us adults too by the way. Think of your workplace, or relationships; would it not be wonderful to get 10 or 15 positive comments to every 1, on an average? It really is not difficult, and it produces quick and lasting change for the better. However even parents I have shown this to, maybe 50% actually do it. The other half live in misery and complain, while the answer is in their reach.

So I use that example, although very abbreviated, and not a complete summary as a model for the topic of this post. We have got to understand that we ( to a certain extent) actually decide our own outcomes by how we decide to do 3 things.

1- How we think.

2- How we behave.

3-How we use words.

Think on things that are in line with your goals, speak in a way that lines up with your goals, and act as if you are already there. Sound too simple? It really is very easily explained. We have to address the root problem, which is how we think. If I am driving around town all day and I keep thinking about robbing a bank, I am going to end up at a dead-end road, as it is neither realistic, legal, or productive. I use this as a random example, but insert your worries, your heavy thoughts that want to repeat like a tape over and over…

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Now we have to make the decision to think on something more in line with our goals. Whatever that looks like for you, think on it. Dwell on it. Purposely focus on the things that the ingredients you need to achieve your outcome. Wasted thinking, or “stinking thinking” accomplishes nothing good and is likely to cause you even more stress. Next, what we say is CRITICAL to accomplishing what we will see as outcomes. It matters not if you are alone or with friends, if you allow words to come out that contradict the thoughts you have trained yourself to think, you have to start all over. So say things like ” I am excited for what is happening!” or ” Good things are going on” instead of the traditional ” Life sucks and I am tired” or ” I think I will have a heart attack”. You may be surprise at how many people actually fulfill their own verbal commands.

Finally, make the necessary practical decisions that must occur for you to see your dream. In other words, stop doing things that are counter-productive to what you want, and purposefully do the things that you have identified as mandatory for success. Put yourself around people who already possess what you want. Stay away from those who are going the opposite direction. Believe in yourself, and do NOT believe everything you think. Only believe the thoughts that line up with your goal. Most other interference comes from the media, the radio, and our natural wanting to loathe in self-pity. Cut it out. Shut the television off. Refuse to give in to what others say about your situation. Most times, when people see that you are not out to impress or conform to their ways, they get fearful and try to pull you back down into misery with them, as we know misery LOVES company. Its lonely going the positive route, not many choose it. Get used to it. If you are worried about what others will think about you, then you have a self-confidence issue, and address it. Refuse to “need” anyone, but allow yourself to enjoy the company of those who are supportive of you and your goals. Refuse to think negative, as it only leads to talking negatively, which will bring you right to acting negatively. You are trying to leave there, remember? LOL!

Finally, I laid this foundation for everyone, so that I can take a real life example of someone who is living in success at a very young age, because he chose to go against the grain. Persevering,  is falling down 19 times, and getting up again on the 20th. Ben Franklin once said ” the harder I work, the luckier I seem to get!”. Think on that statement for a minute, it is powerful.

tj

You Can Believe What You Say More Than What You Think. Which Way Is It Going For You?

Sometimes I like to incorporate humor into my posts to keep the site from just being about depression and addiction and PTSD etc… I just cannot be all too funny with this. This is a topic that is DEADLY. I remember, because my brothers suicide wont seem to get out of my mind some days. So I am going to ask everyone to stop and read this, and you know what it may not even apply to you. But it could prevent what happened with my family. I cannot undo the gunshot that ended my brothers life. But I can share my 20 years of experience in mental health and addictions, from a personal, and then a professional standpoint. I sure hope you will send this to anyone that seems like they may be one step away from tragedy. If it is you. I tell you what to do at the end. Anyhow, I hope you take this to heart. Anyone who follows me knows how much I love you all and just want to keep getting the word out that you cannot delay treatment for mental health without terrible consequences. But let me say this, there is some really good news on here about the success we are having worldwide in a new area to help….tj

 

Time to Evaluate Clock Review or Assessment Management

The words Time to Evaluate on an ornate white clock, counting down to the moment a manager will perform an evaluation, review, assessment or reevaluation of a worker, property or process

Is Therapy Going To Drive Me To Suicide?

Most people in and around the mental health field as a client or provider are familiar with these two terms. The question is, what is the difference? Its a valid question that deserves an honest answer.

So your deciding how to address the situation your going through and the options. Whether it be a depression issue, a divorce issue or any other circumstance that has proved itself to be interfering in your routine to the point that you need at least some action. Lets face it, there are thousands of different providers who all claim to offer up the most successful, healing, lasting and least restrictive and intrusive on your life.

Where do you start? A friend’s recommendation? An ad that catches your eye or ear? The most well known methods? Its a tough call for anyone. It does not have to be. You see just as we have progressed in other industries like automobiles, and appliances and homes, the same applies when it is time for mental health choices. We don’t screw bolts into the sides of peoples heads anymore to see the effect. We don’t torture people hoping to alter behavior or feelings. Things have improved. Much progress has been made in these areas and you will do yourself a disservice by not following up on what is working and what is not.

Just because you are struggling with an issue in your life does not paralyze your ability to educate yourself. Of course you must be strong enough to make your own decisions and choices on treatment unless you are in need of inpatient care. This post is about outpatient care. If you follow along you just may see clearly some things that have been unclear until now. I have had extensive experience in both coaching and therapy, both as a client, and eventually as a professional for 20 years. To try and break down all the theories of personality and modalities of treatment would take an entire book. In my opinion it is not necessary.

Everyone has their opinion about what works best and many of the ideas have validity and can indeed help. However do you want to get 45% help when another method would bump that up to 85%? Of course not. Let me add that I have no dog in the hunt. Our team together has decades of experience in just about every major modality used in outpatient therapy. If you want to come lay on a couch each week while we remind each other how miserable your life has been, someone will take your money. But what about outcomes? After all the whole point of therapy is to get better and move on with your life, right?

What if medication is recommended? We all know that game right? Try this for 6 weeks, if it does not make you feel good we will change to the next, and the next and so on. You may be caught up in a weekly sit down regurgitating old dark memories for a year before any medications start working. That is , if they ever work, since even major drug makers have admitted that 5 or 6 of their latest anti-depressants actually cause suicidal thoughts.

OOPS! Yeah, it does happen and it is not uncommon.

But even so, therapy is just so much more ” professional ” sounding. It must be the best if its been around so long. I mean this coaching thing is fairly new. Why take chances on that when you can enjoy the benefits listed above of a therapeutic model?

Maybe because coaching works.

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Lets take a closer look at this whole coaching model. The coaching models at least that I am familiar with takes the therapy model and turns it on its head. It rejects everything traditional long term therapy stands for.

Coaching focuses on what is right in your life. What you can do well. What strengths we have. A return to normalcy as soon as possible in the least restrictive environment is key. On the other hand have we all not at one time or another seen a post or article that begins with  ” I have been seeing my therapist now for 5 years  ” or  ‘ My therapist says he thinks I need a higher dose of medication”. If you have not, you need not leave WordPress because they are everywhere.

Try finding one that says they have had their coach for more than a few months. It will be tough. The reason being is coaches create independence for you by emphasizing what you can do and have done well, whereas a typical therapy session will hover around how many failures or let downs occurred and how did you deal with them. If not monitored closely therapy can simply become something you must depend on and have or you will crack. It also can make for real strong job security for the provider. I am in no way saying that this is always the case, I am simply pointing out the facts.

 

Let me give you another example that may be easier to illustrate. AA & NA have been absolutely famous and known to be the savior for millions who swear they cant make it without it. There is good reason for that. Part of the mantra you must repeat and repeat and repeat until its drilled in your head is that you are powerless over your addiction.  Sounds like pure healthy honesty right? We need to face the truth, right? The problem here folks is that most AA & NA programs have a tough time breaking into double digits as far as success in remaining sober for 12 months. Hmm. Sounds like AA & NA need the addicts more than the addicts need it.

Now I can already here people yelling at me reciting the serenity prayer and how the program has kept you clean for 5 years. If that is true, good for you and stick with it. The problem is we have this other 90% who fail and fail and fail. This group is just as important as the 10% who are doing well. right? The program or therapeutic modality cannot replace the addiction. Trading one addiction for another is , well not the goal.

Lets quickly review. Coaching is a process where someone trained in the area your needing comes along side of you and helps you identify your strengths, address any negative patterns that are interfering with your life and resets your thinking and goals to align with your abilities. This process in general is a much shorter and effective one that rarely disturbs your daily routine and acts more as a cheerleader to help you up and out of a rut then a tape recorder that plays your most hideous memories over and over until one week you think you have it beat- but then at your therapy session your forced to drag it back out of the dark corner of your head.

Coaching is not becoming dependent in any way on someone else. Therapy can lead to a total dependency on a person to survive, and even worse create a stigma that you are lesser of a person because you cannot live life normally or without the handicap of a label, diagnoses, or medication.

Am I saying that therapy is a waste and coaching is the only way to get help? Of course not. What I absolutely am saying is that one better be educated on their true need lest they become involved in a very dependent situation that may strip you of self esteem when that method is not needed. I have been a therapist. I have been a coach which is what I am more involved in then formal therapy. There will always be times when someone is in need of long term clinical therapy. What I have learned however is that everyone deserves the chance to be helped up and out of a rut through short term coaching before the much more restrictive clinical environment.

Besides the the stigma, the dependency, and the long term visits in the therapy model, you also need to understand that the difference financially between the two are radical and you are talking tens of thousands of dollars for any long term clinical therapy and that is besides medications. Why would you put yourself or anyone you love in that box before you give them a chance to be coached back to health? So far I have given you my personal and career experience, but in case your wondering, the established and very well run coaching programs that are in existence now are running circles around any treatment centers for addictions and over 20 other issues from domestic violence to PTSD. As a matter of fact many insurance companies wont even pay for therapy anymore. That is right, they pulled out and are happy to pour their efforts into legit coaching programs. Why would they, when the success rates on coaching is 75% and up and traditional treatment centers around 20%? Not to mention coaching is 1/3 the cost if not more to you and to insurers.

I want to close with a very important point. This article is designed to offer new options and hope to those who may not be familiar with coaching model. Any good therapist or doctor will tell you the truth about whether long term expensive therapy is needed or if coaching is what will work best for the client. I wont lie to you, just like any industry, not every provider is truthful and many will keep you or your child locked up and medicated as long as the payer will pay. Authorities are trying to crack down on those who use clients for personal gain but with tens of thousands of programs, it is very hard.

Take a few minutes and enjoy a laugh. The Old School Psychiatrists Were Just a little more upfront and honest with their patients then in today’s world- Would it not be nice if all Doctors were this up front! Today she would likely here ” Maam, you have OCD, your in denial, you are paranoid and I think these 3 prescriptions may help….We can all learn a thing or two from this Bob Newhart clip…

I have worked with and still do some of the finest clinical therapists around and they are excellent. Doctors as well and in no way am I saying nobody needs clinical therapy. What I am doing here is giving you all a little heads up about what is coming down the pipe. Coaching has proven itself, its cost effective, and is the latest and greatest alternative to what we had to live with. You will hear about it if you have not. All the Don’t Label My Kid! Team members are coaches and you can check out our areas of expertise on the home page menu. Read a quick bio of what we each do and reach out to us if you think you need help. We always work with people and have yet to turn anyone away.

This is a post I would not have written even two years ago. However the coaching success, and opportunities for those who have been coached to actually become working coaches after they find success makes this a win win for anyone and everyone. Don’t put it off anymore. No matter what the age, race, background, or need- believe me we have been there and done it. Just look at our bios and you will understand. If you are doing great, and your kids are doing great. but you have this friend from church, neighbor, or relative that is hurting- be the one to help them get help. You never know what people may be just one more step away from and the tragedy of ignoring it can do.

When my brother shot himself after we just watched some television together, I sure wish I would have asked him why he was so quiet for 2 hours. But, I did not. Instead he walked out the door and shot himself in the head. Don’t let that happen to anyone you know. Contact us immediately for prompt response.

Write these contacts down. Print this out. Share with a friend. Share with your followers. We cannot help unless you get in touch. At the bottom is a personal cell number that is available to call 24/7- 365. If you are in trouble now, or know who is , you may call it anytime.

Otherwise for a consult about a family plan, or individual need and 100% confidential, email one of these – leave a contact number in the subject if you wish to be called back

dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com or tim@dontlabelmykid.com

Emergency Crisis Line- 386-675-7549

TJ

 

So Whats It Going To Be? Therapy Or Coaching? Do You Even Know The Difference? You Should.

“There is a time or everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

Well, here we are. We have discussed practically every issue in life on this blog in the last four years or so. We have laughed, debated, discussed, prayed and I think I even had a legitimate stalker . The very first mission of this and I hope any blog is to teach. To educate your readers on what it is your here for and especially the question ” what can you do for me”. Today I am going to do a part of my job that is not uncommon in my 20 years as a Social Worker. I am going to press you a little bit. Force you to quit sidestepping and avoiding your needs and issues.

Now don’t think of this as anything negative. Its just the natural progression of things. In my career I would have people make appointments come to the office for some need in the areas of mental health, behavioral health or addictions primarily. There are always exceptions but those were the most popular reasons they would make an appointment to see me.

Almost always on the very first visit I would introduce myself and ask them to tell me about why they were here. I cannot tell you how many stare-offs I had, lol. I would say ” you called me so tell me what I can help you with. ” I never figured out if it was people getting intimidated when they are in a setting they are not used to or what , but so many people forget or froze up.  I would usually give them some examples of why people came to see me and gradually somewhere in the list I would here a ” yeah that” or something to help me know where to start probing or asking questions. We always got moving at some point. Some in just a few minutes and some it took a little longer.

On this blog Don’t Label My Kid! I decided to start the educating on my homepage with mental health. I allude to the other areas I am an expert in but that is where I decided to begin, because all our other problems somehow are related to mental health. I then proceeded over the next 3-4 years to make sure I wrote at least 100 articles related to each area I serve.  I am not talking about specialty areas like parenting that I also assist and do workshops in,  but the main primary areas;  Mental, behavior and addictions.

Over 500 total articles on these areas. This is to find out where my reader’s needs are and to get feedback from you as well on any area . As you all well know I always mix in some humor, politics or other issues at random just to keep things from getting to dark and gloomy on here. (Some who pop in at the wrong time think this site is just a random topic site as my last 4 quick posts might have been about humor. lol) Even though I post about a wide  variety of topics , they are topics related to life. We are all in that game together.

Now, in this time I have enjoyed a good amount of feedback, comments and gotten a ton from you all about your situations now, past of something you wonder about. I have read and still go over thousands of comments from you all. I have not read anything I have not helped someone with many times over ( except maybe the stalker) .

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I have heard from the suicidal, the addicts, the parents who are ready to strangle their kids, the people of faith who ask me how I can still believe in God, then the burned out Christians. I have also gotten messages from people suffering with PTSD, abused wives, and people who have had experiences with sexual abuse. This has been especially popular since I have been writing about Father Gondek . People are much more likely to share if they are not alone. My point is, you are here for a reason. I  can assure you God did not lead you here to get more depressed or addicted. He did not bring me here to write about your struggles so you can leave the house every day with fresh depression. We are here for a change. It’s what I call a divine appointment.

The stage we are at now, is called Execution.

Execution is where action takes place. It is where you quit playing around with your problem. You quit lust ” liking ” every post about your topic, you take the next step in your journey. It is the favorite part of work life, as I get to use my gifts and help people in general solve problems. How though? What do you do – even if you wanted to take the next step to help? Well, there are three possible answers.

 You are getting your first assignment in moving forward with your issues. You should write this date down on your calendar  as the day you ” executed “-

Before you can execute you have to select one of the following scenarios that best fits you

1- I have never reached out for help

2-I have reached out but no progress ( gave up )

3-You are currently trying things but have not got anywhere or don’t know if your counsel is right, or the money you would spend is worth it.

Now, I want you to select the one that describes you best. Usually one of those is it. If not no problem we can identify it. So make your selection. Great.

Now – as a consultant I take on three roles, depending on which of the above fits you.

If you are #-

#1-I am your  ADVISOR– I will start by accessing your need, identify the best care plan and follow you through the process as needed.

#2-I am your INTERVENTIONIST-I help you resume your attempts by picking up the pieces of whatever you did gain or learn, and reconnecting , but with the appropriate services.

#3- I am your COACH- I act as support to what you think you may want to try, and am someone to stand along side of you as you navigate the process and coach you as is necessary to keep you on he right track.

Your 2nd assignment today is to figure out whether I am your Advisor,your interventionist, or your coach.  So, which one?

Here is the moment of truth. You pick up the phone or email me to identify what you are in need of. I have broken it down so you can easily identify your needs from me.

(Although I am very good, I have yet learned to read minds of my followers.)

Touch base to get a Plan Of Care started now!

Tim@dontlabelmkid.com

Dontlabelmykid2@gmail.com

Cell- Txt- Call- 386-675-7549

*Now a few important things have when you contact me

1- if it involves a child, any and all IEP or special class information from school. Also any mental health official diagnoses or medications they are on or have ever been on. I don’t need copies but I need you to accurately tell me the report. If you are needing help for yourself I just need your past and current mental health diagnises

2- If you are an addict or have a loved one is and you need help – DO NOT GET ANY HELP UNTIL YOU TALK TO ME . PERIOD. Many organizations today get paid to fill beds- not make it a good fit for the client. Also if you walk into a rehab with no knowledge of the process and what you really need, you or your friend’s success rate is about 24%

Again- Any addicts reading or if you are trying to help one get help. CALL ME first. It is critical that you have an understanding of what rehab REALLY means. It’s not what you think.

Tj Petri BSW

Advisor, Interventionist, Coach

Don’t Label My Kid!

What Are You Doing Here? On Taking The Next Step… Time To Execute!

 

In the last 4 years I have written about many topics from parenting to depression, addiction to PTSD, medication, suicide, therapy  and so much more. It seems like a lot but as I have always said, I don’t speak on anything that I haven’t lived through personally or at the very least studied professionally. In the beginning I thought writing about so many different types of issues would make it seem like life is filled with nothing but bad stuff. However  I learned two important things in the last four years; I am not alone, and people need to hear from others who can relate.

So far I have mostly  discussed all the different types of problems and medical mental health struggles and family issues that exist. And there’s plenty to discuss no doubt. . Up until now, I have not really delved into how we deal with these issues as we go through these dark trials. Its imperative that we have some way of staying grounded during these times we walk  through the valley.

 It’s very important that we have some sort of an anchor to keep us from drifting too far away from reality when we feel so lost in such darkness, and with so few friends. As most of you have understood, if I shared my life experiences, some of these times are gone through very much alone and there are not many people around that can relate. Unless you really search. And most of the time we don’t feel like searching for anything when we’re barely able to wake up every day and get dressed. Having been through very traumatic times that caused depression, and nightmares and loneliness and sometimes the inability to function normally. I can understand the darkness that prevails if we allow it to.

 There’s a few things in my life that I can honestly say, are the only reasons that I am here today, both physically and mentally spiritually and emotionally. I know that if it took those things to keep me saying then all of you also had to have some way that you’ve coped something that held you together. and some? To that you’ve used to make it to the point, we are able to even write about it today on a blog. The truth is professionally I’ve seen that it isn’t a very high percentage of us that are able to make it even this far- in fact we are a  very blessed group of people to have come through what we have and able to share it with other people. Speaking of sharing it with other people that is a critical piece in healing. It isnt always about us -the spotlight can’t always be on us even in our dark times and the truth is some of the ways out of these dark times the very quickest are by reaching out to others and pulling them up with the knowledge we have.

Sometimes when you need a friend the most you got to go and be a friend to someone. . Sometimes when you need encouragement the most you need to go and encourage someone. And even sometimes when you need financial help, you need to reach out to someone who you know could use what little bit you have and help them.. The point is as tempting as it is when we are in these dark times, the worst thing we can do is send out invitations for a pity party. I have always found some good advice from a guy that sings a song full of truth abut these times. I would like to share this song with you and I’ve shared the one with lyrics so you can read along… Please take 3:38 minutes out and watch it…at the end of this post. It may just resonate with you somehow…( you may have to click on it to play it)

So as I kick off the on going series on how we have made it to the point we are, I would ask that you all share any advice that you have. I shared all the problems lol- now I need help with looking at many solutions. I am leaving this wide open, and welcome any guest posts on the topic. Like I said – the more you share the more therapeutic it is.

So lets see where this goes y’all

If You’re Going Through Hell..

2017 Series -Getting Through The Dark Times; Faith It ‘Til Ya Make It!

This is what I’ve been preaching all along since day one but it’s sure nice to have somebody like Mike Carey share something like this with us.

Most medical studies deemed bogus! Even Dangerous!

Courtesy of big Pharmaceutical. Even if you don’t want to hear this you really should read it- it’s a life-or-death issue.

http://www.naturalnews.com/2017-05-08-science-shock-almost-all-medical-studies-are-bogus-reproducibility-approaches-zero.html

tj

Well – This Should Rock Some Worlds! Most MEDICAL STUDIES = BOGUS!!

ADDICTION SERIES 2017- The Pathetic Failure To Provide Effective Care & The Hoax Of AA & NA..

People are always talking about how addicts don’t seem to ” want ”  get better or that they don’t try hard enough . We now recognize addiction  as a disease and that’s progress.

However- the blame for the miserable 25% -40%  (at best) success that some claim they have, goes right back to the providers. In this country is least when we go to an auto repair shop we expect them to know how to repair the auto, or we don’t keep taking it there. If we go to a lawn mower shop we want them to know how to repair our brand of lawn mower and wouldn’t accept anything less. Things in the area of human care and condition are quite different . There is no accountability for starters.

 As  you see in this LinkedIn document posted here,  my featured image,  one addictions “specialist”  asks a question of other ” specialists” ..on how to handle a client.. that in itself is not typical or shouldn’t be but what really should be astonishing to all is the response..

 The result is not one or two opinions but more than 80!

How comfortable would you feel if that patient was you or one of your loved ones that you we’re going to get effective care?  That is unbelievable. How could we ever treat anybody effectively if we can’t even agree on how to treat addictions in general? 

This is one of the reasons that Don’t Label My Kid! is advocating and implementing our own treatment models and services so that we can make sure treatment is actually successful and appropriate..

Another mind-blowing statistic is the failure rate of AA and NA organization,  how it came to be and what a prosperous organization it is financially. In this link you can read of all about it.

What hope does the addict really have- knowing what we do?

We are striving to be that hope!

The Hoax of NA and AAThe Hoax of NA and AA

http://www.alternet.org/books/pseudoscience-aa-and-rehab

tj

Sickness- Be Gone!Be healed And No Longer Just Treat Symptoms..

The Natural Cancer Killer Guide HSI

(This is not a guarantee for immediate healing and it is not similar to a personalised treatment. Then  and take what applies to you and your situation but if you’re looking for a personalized can clarify you need to call Mike Carey for that..but this is still white sand a light years away from where we’re at right now so check into it.b

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_T8zNEl5CBkSXYtVF81U0M5UEFodVNRY0plV3lHTmpYb2p3/view?usp=drivesdk
Before I knew Mike Carey I got this as part of a club for social work I was in. I usually toss this type of thing,- not because none of it works, but because I did not know which ones did and which ones did not. I think I saved this one for 2 reasons- the first reason was that it is like 40 pages long. If it was valuable that wold hve been alot of was of wasted information that you cannot buy.

The 38 page book should be in the link above and downlodable ..if not let me know I will send you or your group a copy..tim@dontlabelmykid.com

The other reason was that I got it on email and the first 10 minutehs are about the drug companies and Hillary’s involvement. I am glad I did as Mike said that HSI is a reputable research organization.  You would pay alot of money to buy anything like this they dont even sell it. So it is just cancer, but liver disease and many others. Like Mike has done for 20+ years, they focus on killing the actual cause – not easing the symptoms.

I would recommend if you have a family member or friend who is ill that you share it. This is the kind of stuff that Mike does, find out what the natural cure is is for your or my disease. By the way I just twisted his arm into committing to writing a weekly post here on a different set of symptoms or a disease and discuss the cure. Tomorrow will kick it off, and each Friday after. 

Please understand this, the guide  that you have in front of you is one thing -that is not a personalized  guide ..

that generally speaks two different diseases cancer on Wood Products could work for you and have worked but not nearly as personal as a consultation with Mike care of you actually goes by your specific body and what your issues are. So it’s not as if this guide is a 100% success to everything problem you have but it’s a way for a forehead measure than the current system has so take that with a grain of salt of you read each article or a suggestion but when you call Mike there is no in between there is no and personal it’s all about you specifically so there’s a benefit to both but one is definitely better than the other

If you have a topic or a chronic problem that you want him to address, email him at silverwood08@gmail.com- He will do his best to address as many as he can in this short weekly post.  You can call him personally to discuss your needs and the healing process. If he needs to stay involved until its totally gone, then he obviously will have to get reimbursed for his time.

However I spoke with him about the possibility of offering any  Don’t Label My Kid! followers  a special offer to keep the ability to talk to him anytime. It will be combined with the New Founders Club subscription t raise funs for virtual services. I have to incorporate in it.

Here is my recommendation- if you or anyone you know is ill for along time or something that the doctors have not helped then go ahead and email Mike . Tell him you want to know if he could help you or them be done with it. If he says yes he will likely tell you a few natural things to get ( like he did for me) and how much to take them. If that’s the end of the story just a brief phone consult, he likely would be free.

If your doctors and all the hundred or thousands of – I would be ready to do 10 jumping jacks if I were you. Now pay attention here I will give you 2 real life examples from last 2 weeks on audio clip.  You see everyone in my circle who has gone time after to the doctor only to go broke has been ECSTATIC when I told them he was available to them now because you are with me.

Tj

 

 

 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_T8zNEl5CBkbEs3WmZoZHZnQ2c/view?usp=drivesdk

Above and below are 2 different ways to hear Tj  give his   personal greeting and update. In order to hear it you may have to load the open. If neither will work for you just skip it I will be doing these regularly.

udio- TJ greeting and update of the Dont Lablel My Kid! Projects(I

**This information is intended for the recipient and nobody else. Please lets keep this in-house..

Mike Carey alternative Solutions 4 Health & Tj from Dont Label My KId!

I made a quick audio update ( both links above, but had a few problems on one of the times I tried to open, you may have to download first but if its more than a few minutes just let it go, as it is jut an update and I will be dong these from time to time…tj


Greetings ,

You all are in for some very exciting news!  If you have received this invitation you are a part of a special group of people. You are special to us in that you are followers of Mike Carey – Alternative Solutions 4 Health, or TJ -(Dont Label My KId) and Mike have teamed up! That’s right we are joining forces to reach some goals and accomplish some things that have never been done before. We want you all along with us. Much is happening in the way of change and we have some exciting things in the works.

We want the people who have been supportive of us to get some too.

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(Notes- It has come to our attention that a fairly large group of bloggers were included in this private invitation who may or may not be followers of Don’t Label My Kid! Or Mike Carey .)

(After checking into it we found that you all actually are  considered by  WordPress to be followers of Don’t Label My Kid! via what I call the ‘ “undercover follower” method lol which I actually learned  is an option that I was unaware of. The other possibility is you register  so much on the site you are considered followers.

Either way you are blood.

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Just come on home – make it official-go click follow on this site. You do have to do that to take part so if you could make sure you all are ” legal” by like tomorrow we can stop the confusion…..And now we return to our regular programming. .)

With  Mike’s incredible knowledge and gifts in areas of  health and the mission of DLMK to serve a huge group of people worldwide who are desperate for help in the areas of mental, behavioral health and addictions it seemed a match made in heaven to team up and meet the needs of the total person in ways that have never been done. AS4H and DLMK have one thing in common.

Success rates that are at least double or more of many of the options available. That is not to say there are not very talented people working in our areas because there is. We have a unique chance to make sure that all components that a person may need in treatment, we can help with and using the same team, same model and same philosophy. Not all have that advantage.

Beliefs in how and who in treatment are absolutely identical. Both are believers in getting to the root issue; both believe in as natural of a healing as is possible; both are  committed to a return to normalcy asap. Sadly the country we live in supports financially those who keep people sick. It pays very well.

The goals of physical treatment centers and other care is already in the works. As matter of fact we will be talking with a major insurer in Florida about helping fund treatment centers! At this moment right now we have a goal to get services out to the world through virtual means. Mike can do what he does and the whole team can each help in reaching out to the world. However one thing holds us back.

It is very expensive technical work to build a portal  as we will using the Don’t Label My Kid! site as a platform. The site today has followers from 60 countries. The cost to make this happen is huge but not as a team. You are part of our team. It’s not a one-sided team and that’s why nobody else but our followers got invitations. As we succeed, you succeed. Why pay an outside investor a ton of money to help us when we can work together and meet all of our needs?

With that said – in order to reach who we need to reach we will need help.  So we are asking that you take a hard look at what is in front of you right now and consider getting involved to the extent that are able. We think no matter what level you are supporting us he return will far outweigh any monthly investment. When we need to add some service providers to our database who do you think we will utilize?

That’s right – you.

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In closing I will give a quick example or two. The placement of your blogs name on a separate page on the website goes to anyone at any level. Think about this. How much would it cost for a newspaper as or magazine/radio ads -100? More ? Even then you must hope and pray that people hear or see your ad at the very time they need your service.

Our followers are made up of people like you same demographic. That’s gold. The potential reach for your name in a day could be 500k- you see DLMK has followers that have 100k each!  So it’s a great deal. Please jump in, Today is the kick-off let’s do it up!

                               Here is our Commitment to You –

**For those come on board now, we will do something to show you our appreciation. We provide care for the total person here . We make sure that whether it’s a general doctor, a psychologist, an addictions specialist or any other type of care, that we have the best of the best.

So, to those who become any level as a founding member -we have you covered for any crisis needs in your immediate family. Free.

The 3 subscriptions are below are simply select what is best and sign up…

(We do have a few limited partnerships available. These are NOT for the average blogger or small business owner . The investment and commitment are much greater and suited for large set ups. People looking make some high level career advances with other projects we are working on and things like that. They are listed after the 3 below.)

***THIS JUST IN- PLEASE READ*****Mike Carey and I just spoke Today is 4/29/2107  at 10:40pm Eastern Time.

Mike has told me to take away the hours of consulting that go with the package if you are a Founders Club Member…Instead, when you become an active member now AT ANY LEVEL– He said PUT NO LIMIT ON IT!!! This means by subscribing you are on Mike’s List Of Clients and you NEVER have to pay for his service..

He also said as a small token of his appreciation to those who are serving, or have served in the military Everything ( all of his services) are on the house and the same goes for those in Christian Pastoral ministry or retired from it. 

Finally, if you want to become a member but cannot afford 25.00$ / Month we will offer scholarships if you can provide proof

. We also exchange services for memberships-if you have a skill we can use, or a product we can use..

Thanks in advance for trusting us and becoming Founding Club Members !


Don’t Label My Kid!  & Alternative Solutions 4 Health Founders club

                                          ~ Status Options~

———————————————————————————————————————————–

25.00-  Official Member

1-Your Blog Featured on separate page with founders only

2-Access to private database of services

*** Note – If you are wanting to bump up to GOLD but cannot afford it? Bring us 5 new members at any level and you got it .

(They must become followers of either Mike, Tj or both to be eligible.)

Subscribe as Official Member

———————————————————————————————————————-

50.00-  GOLD Member

1-Your Blog Featured on Separate page with Founders Members only

2-Access to private database of services

3-  Founders Group Member Tag for your Homepage

4- A free hour per month of consultation with any of  team! phone Email

Subscribe as Founders Gold Member


NOTE! Want to become a Platinum member without the extra 50 bucks? No problem, bring us 5 Gold members!


100.00– Platinum

1-Your Blog Featured on Separate page with Founders Members only

2-Access to private database of services

3-Founders Group PLATINUM Member Tag for your homepage

4-1 Guest post on the DLMK site per quarter to share your blog’s mission or post a blog of your choice (these will be highlighted and recognized as a Guest Post From Founding Member-available only to Platinum members)

5- 2 hours per month of personal consultation from an actual team member to help you identify the appropriate service for you or a loved one’s personal situation.via email or phone and if the situation calls for it.

100% confidential and no longer available to non followers.

Subscribe as Founders Platinum Member

————————————————————————————————————————————

                    The Executive Access – Boardroom Access Partners

We are also offering an entirely different type membership. They are Limited Partnerships – meaning only 10 of each are being considered at this time. The positions are for those who are aggressively pursuing some specific goals in a business, career or any pursuit that would require high-profile connections or simply need  to do more than run a small business, and need the help of a larger group to help them to the next level.

We designed these slots with a few things in mind. One is to help some of our own followers achieve their goals, so in the future they can pay it forward and continue the mission that we have started. Another is to help us achieve our financial goals so we can begin doing what we do best, help others. The financial investment for the Executive is 500/monthly and the Boardroom is 1000/month. It is the highest level of commitment on both sides that exists.

In some ways these are open to what the two sides can do for each other. We have the advantage of being able to be flexible and creative.

The primary differences between the two is one has access to the board of directors on certain issues and has a voice and even a vote on issues related to the services fund-raising project. The Boardroom Access partner is that person.

There is a process to discuss either of these. If you are interested contact Tj to set up a phone conference -tim@dontlabelmykid.com.

occasionally we will have a need for a staff member and offer it out as a regular position. Right now we are looking to fill a few part-time executive assistant positions in exchange for platinum memberships .

We hope you find just the right opportunities so we can see you grow while we grow!

thanks Mike Carey and Tj Petri

Private: Invitation Only–Please Join Us In The Fight To Provide Effective Services To Those Suffering. Tj & Mike

 

Well, I thought after 4 years maybe I should introduce myself… to my ” inner circle”.

 What you are about to read is all true folks- except for some rumor about the home in the background of the picture of my wife and I -being my ” Guest House” – Right… On a Social Workers salary? Not!…

Its actually just our own humble abode. We cannot afford ” guest houses”.

Ok, alright – just got a” friendly” nudge from my wife (ouch) to tell the ” whole ” truth. So It’s actually the Biltmore Hotel, and ” technically speaking” we used our life savings to spend 2 nights there 12 years ago…   Whats the big diff?

Some people are just dream-killers.

Anyhow this really is my story in a snapshot…    ..

http://dontlabelmykid.com/Home.html

 A Little About Me. The Guy Behind Don’t Label My Kid!- Tj -Up Close And Personal..**sorry for issues with link will have fixed in a few hours. ..

Not unlike the pedo-priest rings we are breaking up- this whack-job use his position in the church to take advantage of kids. For this one case, 50+ counts-so far. String him up. Story below.

Click Either- link

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4180474/Funeral-home-director-gospel-singer-faces-child-sex-charges.html

or my new Newspaper-

Hang Em High Times

 

Another Sick In The Head Whacko

          YOU ARE NEEDED RIGHT NOW!

        UNLESS YOU ARE PRO-PEDOPHILE-READ THIS.

cropped-eye.jpg

———————

I have always had a tough time trying to describe the whole pedophile ring in the Catholic church. I’ve always known and millions have suspected what goes on in there but never able to prove it.  Before I go further, I am not saying ALL priests are pedophiles. As a matter of fact, a priest helped me in gathering this information

With that said, its time the world sees just how deeply involved all levels of clergy in some areas really are..

 Because of how ruthless they are in being willing to be to protect their sick hobbies at any cost, I even named them. I call them La Folla Femminine..

                  The Feminine Mob

                                                                               .”.

After all the years of seeing what I have, one way I try to cope and take any comfort at all is to remind myself that it isn’t over.  The church can bully and hurt people to protect their child predators here on earth but the future outlook is not so bright.

.


               Matthew 18:6  (ESV)

but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,[a] it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

_____________________________________________________________________

It may just  blow your mind to know what happens from the inside out in the Catholic church (in certain areas)  on a regular basis. The information we have provides some evidence of  things that have never been proven before although always suspected. 

This documentation is a model of sorts that the Catholic church uses to avoid accountability and consequences for what I believe is a huge pedophile ring that spans the globe and leads straight to the pope.

You might recall that father Albert Gondek first came into my life as he was very closely associated with my own brother 20 some years ago. My brother was another victim of this predator, and sadly the end result for my brother was suicide.  Just as it has always been until now, even evidence in writing did not interest the church and Gondek went off free of course. If you care to see what the predator looks like, click below.

 

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/ckysag/picture50801635/ALTERNATES/LANDSCAPE_1140/Rev.-Albert-J.-Gondek-OSFS

(Did you look at him? I know – me too. Reminds me of certain types of clowns – you know the real creepy ones ? John Wayne Gacy comes to mind. )

After the incident with my brother I decided on a career in Social Work and kind of lost track of Gondek. Due to some very unusual events, I was connected with someone who just “happened” upon me on my blog, and also” happened” to be involved in Gondeks current parish. In a very short period of time we were able to fill in some gaps of time that placed Gondek in certain situations similar to my brothers. Between that information, and you all sharing the story, everything needed fell right into place.

As a Social Worker and a person who has experienced first hand the incredible apathy and disgusting  behaviors in the church, I  have always kept my eye on this problem but always came up with the same dilemma. 

Lawyers and money /millions of dollars over the history of the church has always won over anyone trying to raise awareness to these issues. To sum it up,  anybody who has spoken up or  attempted to bring it to light has either been bullied or bought out.

To date over six billion ( B) has been paid out  just to pay people off and settle with  them so they won’t speak up in court..

Those not  willing to take the bribe have suffered the wrath. Deportation,  the cutting off of food sources or income for their families,  exile from the local community and rumors of much worse things. In this particular case only one of the boys came forward out of the seven,  and  coincidentally  two weeks later  the Catholic church shipped him off to Mexico deportation .

Here is how slick  these guys are–

Check this out. After they got rid of the young man the spokesperson for the North Carolina diocese, who sent me the email you see in this post, made a statement something like this  ” Although we have no evidence, just an allegation from an incarcerated man, out of an abundance of caution Father Al is being moved to another state while we work with law enforcement to do a thorough investigation.”

He failed to leave out one critical piece of information He incarcerated the young man, in the deportation holding area.

And of course no investigation took place, no law enforcement was notified, nor was any agency.

 

The movie Spotlight  was a good door opener to get to the bottom of the real truth about the pedo-priest ring that I believe could be a majority in certain areas of the Catholic church.  Although they mostly uncovered records of older cases where people have covered things up and it wasn’t in real-time with real molesters and  real victims – it did serve as a tool to make the Catholic church at least cough up a tiny bit of information and sort of admit that maybe there were a few more pedo-priests than they thought. They came up with some sort of public announcement to pacify everyone.

  •  They opted telling the media they would put in place a committee to hold priests accountable. I know of no such committee.

  •  They also said publicly that they had a ZERO  tolerance in the area of pedophilia in the church..

  •  After reviewing all the records, I must say they were telling the truth about the ZERO tolerance.  They just left one critical part out.

  •  The ZERO tolerance was not for the priests but for the brat or who opened his mouth. You better believe there is a  ZERO tolerance for that..

  • Its bad news for the victim who chooses to make known the torment he’s experiencing by any member of   La Folla Femminine…

                                       

 When they are not busy painting each others fingernails – they are about the business of protecting their hobby.

 In a sense the movie was a victory for the church because the truth did not get exposed about the everyday functioning of this huge ring –  however it  did call for some action and accountability which now is an open door to show the truth of the extent of  it.

  In my opinion there should be a non-stop 24/7 investigative show just like COPS –    going  after all the priests still working and  molesting kids , every single day and night until it’s shut down.

The truth is it doesn’t matter if you had a trillion dollars or a trillion lawyers that’s not what drives this. There’s only one thing that can make the attention stay on this issue and that is the cameras of the media.

 If  just ONE affiliate  would keep the camera rolling after one incident and go to the next one and the next one and the next one they would be the first to spearhead something that could be the most effective positive change in the history of the church.

ARE WE GOING TO LET THIS PREDATOR WALK JUST LIKE HE ALWAYS HAS?

delay

 

Unfortunately we have many  followers who are leading the way in the media . It will take a leader.

So my fellow bloggers, this is where the power of networking comes in and I need ALL of you to connect here.

                   LETS BLOW THIS UP SO IT CANNOT BE IGNORED.

If you all share this we can hit over a MILLION people just for starters…how about it?

Again the case is about Father Albert Gondek-Lexington, North Carolina- Our Lady Of The Rosary Catholic Church. Google that info you will confirm he was accused (again) in 2015- This case involved 7 boys and one who spoke up. We have all the neccessary statements, eye witnesses, living breathing people to testify of the hideous sex, drugs and intimidation scheme that Father Albert ran on young boys….disgusting.

He was recently rewarded for being a confessed predator with an early PAID retirement and no report to the law.. LETS MAKE THE LAW SEE IT AND THE MEDIA SEE IT.

 

As I said, it  has never been proven that pedophilia in the church is SUPPORTED…until now…

Many of you who helped me to put the word out about him in the last year will remember that we really needed some additional evidence and proof and some attention on this case. I shared with you the immediate results that all of you have gotten by blogging that post originally. 

One of the things you may be surprised about is the power the church has had to intimidate that even some law enforcement agencies seem intimidated by the church. 

Afraid to ruffle any feathers with full understanding that kids were being  raped  inside the very churches they drive by each day. Difficult to imagine.

It’s amazing to see  the Catholic church try to defend this problem by saying ” we’ve only had three or four hundred convicted pedophile priests” . There is good reason for that – it’s hard to convict a priest when the church protects them from the law and conceals the evidence.

Below is the link to the Bishops accountability page, where the church is supposed  to share with the public the status of the accused.

 As I just mentioned, the church officially came out with only 300 actual legit cases in a public statement recently.

What you are going to see when you have time to open this ( it’s NOT a 3 minute read) might shock you..rather then 300, their numbers range from 10-20k victims or “valid claims ” as they say. When you scroll through the lists, state by state or diocese by diocese you will think you are searching white pages of a major city.

There is more.  You see the author and editor of this site is non other then the Catholic church. Imagine, if they are willing ( only because they had no choice) to publish these pedo-priests- then God only knows how many truly exist? 

My instinct tells me it’s on the wrong side of 50% of priests , but if you count those who  aide and cover-up offenses of others, much higher.

http://www.bishop-accountability.org/AtAGlance/USCCB_Yearly_Data_on_Accused_Priests.htm

Check this article from an actual real Cardinal. Truth. He himself advocating to get rid of the  many pedophiles in the Catholic church. You know, the ones  that the pope swears are not there.

http://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/culture/callista-ring/2017/01/23/young-pope-accidentally-confirms-catholic-doctrine-attempt

If  you’ve been following this you’ll remember it wasn’t just one-but six or seven boys he molested over two a year period. I am skipping much for times sake, but here is the bottom line. The email you see on top of this post is the actual email I received just days ago from one of the head pedo-priests of the North Carolina diocese. He was responding to a request I made months ago for an update on the ” investigation. “

 

 

He assumed I was just like the restbegging 2f the planet and would take what he said as gospel. He had no idea that I was fully aware of what he did with the victim, by deporting him just 2 weeks after he opened his mouth about Gondek.

I have the information in part due to you all bye the way.

As you see, he boldly and pompously wrote me the email – revealing the consequence for Gondek – all the while with full knowledge of the crimes committed. Just another day at the office!

 So Gondek, after molesting 7 boys, and getting so busted that they could not keep him  in the church any longer, was “sentenced” to an early PAID retirement, with a promise to do prayer and penance.

At least that’s what he thinks. As I read his pathetic email, I was also scanning an important document detailing what occurred – names, dates, offenses committed, and a whole lot of ugly detail about what the freak Gondek did to these kids. . Much of it I will never be able to post. You get the idea. ..

I have all the details and am more then willing to lay it all out for the world to see..

 I forgot to tell him that part. Maybe he’s reading it here now!

Their party has to end some time.

I’m hoping  these pedo-priests will soon be pedo-prisoners . See how they enjoy the same treatment they gave the young boys..

Then again they may not mind. The important thing is that they can’t molest and hurt kids anymore when they’re locked up.

 

Since I cannot get the proper attention of media or law enforcement for this pedophile, with proof of at least 7 boys molested-

 Lets Do What We Do Best- Spread The Word!

I am asking each one of you to share, re-blog, send to contacts in high places, in low places, or wherever you see fit. Just get it out. Dont let this die off. Its time for the pedo-priest rings to go down.

 

                  LETS  BLOW IT UP!

Thanks in advance-

tj

 

 

 

   

UPDATE#2 – FATHER ALBERT GONDEK PEDOPHILE- IF YOU HATE CHILD MOLESTERS -STOP HERE! URGENT! PREDATOR PRIEST- NORTH CAROLINA_

Every Please -STOP -Listen Up

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TJ- Don’t Label My Kid!- Message to my crew. These Little Ladies Are Mine. Boys are up and out. When I look at them I thank God I even get to hold them. It should not be.

This post is about giving many others a chance to watch their babies grow up. Not many would have made it through what I did, and I believe the purpose for this was to make some changes so others could not suffer through certain things that can kill. So please take this to heart and lets do this thing.  I don’t get to make the plans or set dates, but I am pretty sure this is an appointment we all need to be at.  Thanks for taking a few out to read and do what you can. .. You may make it possible for a guy like me to be smiling down at his little girls like I am here, when he would not have made it before…

You all who have been here for a while already know that as a group some very cool things happen through this blog . Nothing anybody could have planned but just incredible events. Well, fasten your seat belts because here we go again.  Last week I was looking around for just the right people to introduce to all of us as experts in their particular area of service. Lets face it, we are all here because some aspect of our lives are not where we would like them to be. You all have written and been very open about anything from suicidal thoughts to physical disabilities or like me a lifetime of hell with addictions issues.  You remember I started last week our kick off on addiction and invited everyone to invite their families and friends who just didn’t get it. Cool right? I  really want to offer every single person here the treatment they need whether it be PTSD or a fear of dinosaurs.  You know why? Because as many of you may know, treatment in general sucks. It is not at all very successful, and just is a dead-end.  I however, having a great resume on the rehab floor, and also as a social worker have had the answers to why. It’s not too complicated but much is about money. Greed. There are other things too and if I had the funding I would have offered REAL treatment from day one. But, I spent my last million a few years ago . Lol.

Well here is where the weird stuff we get as a group once in a while came in. In the last 3 days there has been an influx all over the media and in the treatment and mental health industry to pour out tons of money to start researching peoples experiences and issues with their failed treatment and actually consider making some changes. Wow! What a coincidence! That’s what we all have been talking about for 4 years. Hmm. Is anyone with me yet? We have the hard data compliments of WordPress. 

So bottom line we are one  of a very tiny group who has the opportunity that we do. That is to ask successful providers to give all of us the services we need and our family and friends too. My job is to find the very best 10  or 15 experts in every area we need to sign on to being here for us. I am talking virtual counseling all the way to 6 month stays out-of-state or country if needed. But that’s not the end. Personally I have been in 3 rehabs since age 23 or so. The first one sucked . The second one was a little better because I got some good drugs from other ” patients” – and the last was fair because  staff let us sneak a pill now and then.

So do we all get why our country is falling apart? The treatment centers and treatment is sub-par and I am being  generous. I went into this field hoping that a day like this would happen. Where we would have the upper hand. It’s here. But 2 things must happen.

1- I have to find and recruit the best of the best in each area we all need.

2 -You all need to share the news   DONT LABEL MY KID!    is a place that ANYONE who needs treatment can come. I will make sure nobody is turned away. That is handled by financial people who can split insurances and get grants or whatever.   If you read what Charles on LinkedIn posted and I reposted here 50 THOUSAND PEOPLE on FACEBOOK alone are looking for  treatment. Not 500. 50k.  Why shouldn’t we be the ones to get the best providers on our team and have them get help through us?  We could start hiring from within for admissions and case management jobs. Everyone of us can play a role in a trailblazing effort.

More importantly we can blaze a new trail of treatment  for outpatient treatment centers so that people with the disease of addiction are treated like people with the disease of addiction. Not losers who don’t care. Do you know how many lives that could save?  This little mystery blog we all met on years ago has already done  more to change major issues than any reporters could. That’s just one case about that priest who molested my brother. That isn’t over yet either.

So if I know you all we can do this and make a name that nobody will forget. For the people needing treatment and by the people needing treatment. It is not about me. It would not be a grand accomplishment if I said look what I did. But if I could share the efforts and input and conditions of all of us and the world saw how it all happened, I have to believe we would see long-term change.

Do you know that even if you can get your loved one into a rehab, the chances of recovery are slim. Embarrassing even. You would think those places would do their jobs right? And most of them do try to rise above the average 35-40% success rate . As a matter of fact the top 10 highest rated programs in the country do in fact boast a considerably higher success rate then the other 90%.

The only difference in their programs ( besides up to 75,000$ higher price tag)  is that some have an extra component to supplement the traditional 12 step method that AA and NA use.  Perhaps even a doctor who himself is a recovered addict. The luxury centers in Florida , California often incorporate yoga, hiking and special fruit diets. Fruits and yoga instructors don’t come cheap. All that said we do have some very effective treatment centers in the USA. I suppose there are also a few Ford Pintos still running too. The point here is not that nobody cares or is trying, but it is to address the reality of the logistics, treatment methods, staffing available and many other factors that together present an epidemic right now as we are currently in a never before seen high rate of overdose deaths from opiates and heroin. Gone are the days of the Andy Griffith sticking Otis in the jail cell until he sobers up. It is dead serious and all over.

This may be the most important post I have ever written as the timing of all this gives us as a group an opportunity to make a dent or even spearhead a new way of thinking when it  comes to treatment.

You all know I don’t keep track of numbers or stats and pay for publicity. The reason 4 years ago I didn’t even consider it was two-fold. First, I have lived the hell of addiction since age 12 due to exceptional parenting by my father.  (NOT).  The point is I know what it is like to want to give up. I know what it feels like to give it everything you got, and have people accuse you of being a slacker who didn’t care about anyone else.  I know what its like to drive home from work excited that I had made up my mind not to drink that night and as my truck passed the ABC liquor store it automatically turned in all by itself.

If you want to talk opiates , or anything else have no fear I have been there too. Mine is addiction depression. Yours may be grief. It may be disease in your body. It does not matter. All can be treated. 

So assuming you have the funding, the open bed, and the right circle of clinicians who are the decision makers  in that tiny percentage of the programs,  you may actually have as high as a 3/4 chance of remaining clean. At least for a year. Now as for the other 90% of programs that do  not have that fruitful, ocean side venue  with the possibility of a real live recovered addict as a role model to help treat them, the sad reality is that maybe 3-4 clients will stay clean for even a year. I personally think it is a horrible hope to stick any struggling addict in a system with results like that. I mean now you may be talking random philosophies of treatment for these citizens who just don’t take their lives seriously, and don’t care about the pain they are causing their families. Snap out of it. Grow up.

At least that’s how I felt when I myself found myself on a cold floor in withdrawals with a tiny mattress to lay on as I vomited and contemplated whether life was worth living. My first program I got lucky because the ” tough love shifter” who marched in like military generals demanding roll call and even exercise while you prayed your heart would not fail seemed to be there as a I began to come out of my life threatening symptoms of opiate and alcohol withdrawal. I remember one nice older lady who used to sneak us an apple or two even just to insure a healthy outcome. She may have known more than we all thought, since the crew I did time with all lasted weeks longer in our sobriety then some others.  That at least gave our families an extra week or two to see us sober. It must have been pure bliss for mom and dad.

Not so much. The next program AA though had a little secret that they were so proud of because it has been around for a century. You see they made it mandatory that we all spent an hour or two each day with al the other failures repeating publicly that we had no control over our situation. Thankfully they had a lifelong open door welcome policy to return after our  ” treatment ” just to remind ourselves of our future -the same as it was that day. If it wasn’t for the hope of making it 30 days or even 60 without using and getting to be presented publicly with a  poker chip  for our good behavior, I may have never had the success I did of well over 3 months sober. Pure heaven.  The only problem was I still felt like I was sick. Like I had well, almost like a real human who was productive  in society  would get, a disease.

Crazy me, here I go back to denial. I sucked it up like you do when you hold your breath.  Until again I had to breath. Now that I look back I am being a little hard on the program, because after my first 30 days of peeing clean, I did get to go into a real public place like the working folk and play pool for an hour with the fellas. Heck the guard that brought us even went out for a smoke break once. It was like we were on parole!

So sure, after a few detox weekends , verbal tongue lashings and contract signings in front of the staff who had never been so disobedient to life as I , I eventually was set FREE! I will never forget walking out of the compound to see my own truck there and more importantly my two young sons. They must have been seen me as a role model. I honestly to this day do not think they ever saw the 20-30 slices up and down my arm to my wrist from trying to figure out how to bleed out while in my hellish withdrawals. I couldn’t even get that right. Nevertheless, I had learned to hold my breath longer now. I was as a clean as a whistle. Never stepped foot into another rehab. It was the darn jail cells that got to me though when I earned my first DUI. I didn’t care for it.

Thank goodness on my 2nd DUI the judge allowed me to check in to a 90 day inpatient program. Heck with good behavior, my superiors at my job an as a clinical social worker would never even know!  This program was much different. I felt like a real human the while time. There was no television or computers. You spent all day working physical labor, the were fed well, but this place didn’t have the walk of shame hour each night. Instead mandatory church.  Oh well, I guess it couldn’t hurt. I knew right away I was never going to score oxy and Vicodin’s like at the Miami place, but hey, I will try.

People that was when I was only 30. It took almost 10 more years to even stay functional. That’s unacceptable. I tried everything. I took the shame and guilt and accusations . You all know. So do you want to let it all go or seize a chance to show the kind of pain uneducated people cause others  cause?

That’s it I am done. I got work to do.

Are you going to do your part?

tj

Note*  To reiterate, I never said that all treatment facilities are useless. What I am saying is due to sheer need, different treatment types, and financial issues, people are dying not living.

I spoke to the Executive Director Of the # 1 best treatment center in the USA last night about this.  Asked his opinion.  He understands the problem.  Lets do this.

Have you ever picked up milk, looked at it, and bought it based on its appearance? Then you get it, drink it, and find that it is sour? I have. The package was deceptive. Hence the reason that I am a stickler about dates on food products. The package fooled me.

How many of us are prone to look at someone and guess what they are before we know them? Most all of us do that if we are honest.

I was standing behind a guy in line at the grocery store a few days ago. My last impression was that he is a college professor at Clemson University. That encounter reminded me of a few biblical examples.

When Samuel went to seek out the king that would replace Saul, he went to Jesse’s house. Samuel looked at all the older sons. However, there was a shepherd boy that Samuel almost overlooked. God reminded Samuel that man looks on the outward appearance while God looks on the heart. God chose David, knowing ahead of time that David would commit adultery with Bathsheba. God still called David “a man after God’s own heart” though he knew his past, present, and future.

The generation of Jesus also learned to see beyond the outward appearance. How could it be that Mary and Joseph’s son (the carpenter’s boy) be the long-awaited Messiah that would be the Savior of the world? This King had to bring more fanfare along with him, right?

We must not make hasty judgments on what we see. If we do not do that by our own nature, we could easily be influenced by co-workers or friends to jump to conclusions based on things we “see”. We better know the whole story before we make statements that influence others to misjudge the person based on the package.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got some repenting to do!

Don’t Let the Package Fool You!

As I mentioned in the “God IN Us” post, my attempt at the “God FOR Us” Message was feeble. One of my followers asked for it, so I pray it comes across better in written form than it did in spoken form.

  1. God gave us His Son FOR our salvation (Isaiah 9:6). “For UNTO US a child is born.” GOD did that FOR US because we were without salvation, and Jesus was the only way.
  2. GOD gave us commandments FOR our protection (Deut. 6:24). “And the Lord commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day.” I love the illustration Chonda Pierce gave about God’s commandments. As she was speaking on stage, she talked about the neon line that protected her from falling off stage. But she also highlighted all the room she had behind her to move and play. God protects us with His guidelines.
  3. GOD gives us difficulties FOR our development. I heard a message today about how the silversmith knows he is done when he can see his face reflected in the silver. So it is with God.
  4. GOD the Son prays FOR us. Numerous verses highlight how Jesus is at the right hand of the Father praying for us. How awesome is that?
  5. GOD is a refuge FOR us (Psalm 62:8). He is a place where we can be safe.
  6. GOD fights our battles FOR us. The statement from the story of David and Goliath resounds in my mind – “The battle is the Lord’s.”

God is FOR us! I’ll close by sharing our song set from last Sunday.

God FOR Us

I was answering a question recently about those who have influenced my life and ministry. As I was pondering the question, I was rather surprised by my answer.

Some would give a list of preachers, Sunday School teachers, or Bible college professors who impacted them. While some of those crossed my mind, they were not my final answer. Others may give a list of preachers they watched on television or listened to on the radio or a podcast. While some came across my mind, they were not my final answer.

Who was my final answer? Nursing home residents who listened to me preach my worst sermons from the time I was 14 until I graduated high school. Those who from my home church in Virginia (many who have passed away) who encouraged my calling and gifts. Those in the churches I served who followed my leadership, even when my leadership was not at its best. My hospice patients and families, past and present, who have taught me how to die with dignity and worship Jesus on into eternity. My family who has cheered me on and believed that I could accomplished the dream God put within me, even when I stumbled along the way. Ministers of encouragement whom I encountered who sowed a one-time word into my life that impacted me for a lifetime. And I would be remiss to acknowledge those whom I have encountered through this blog. God has gone beyond my wildest imagination with this. You have blessed me. These are the ones who cross my mind as I preach and minister each day.

One of the most beautiful stories I heard was from Dodie Osteen, mother of Joel Osteen of Lakewood Church in Houston, TX. Dodie told of how she and her husband, the late Pastor John Osteen, were invited back to a church he pastored in the 1950s. Despite his divorce and remarriage, the church walked with him through the entire process and continued to love him decades later. He went back to preach and told the church how they were like the lady who anointed Jesus’ feet with the alabaster box of ointment as the KJV describes it. Pastor Osteen said he carried the aroma of that church and how they ministered to him during his darkest hours with him all over the world.

Only eternity will reveal the people who have ministered life to this young pastor. To all those who are reading, to those who aren’t, and to those who have gone on before me, thank you! I carry you with me as I minister in Jesus’ name.

I Carry Them with Me

The last few times I have been out with my little baby girls who are not grown yet, just 5 & 10 years old, I have had constant thoughts about the power of the father daughter relationship and I wonder how I am really doing to build that foundation with my own daughters and how they will feel about us when they are grown. My boys are now 20 and 23 so those days are long over. I know where I stand and what I did right and where I came up short. Even so , those are boys. That is a whole different animal. The boys are more resilient when it comes to our relationship. Not quite as sensitive about mistakes I have made and seem to be able to focus on good times and remember what was really strong about our relationship and still is.

For example even with all my mistakes and problems when my boys were little, I still am very happy with how our relationship is today. They had to witness some not so pretty times in my life. The tail end of my treatment for addiction was occurring right in front of their eyes. They had to go through a divorce as toddlers those horrible times when I am dropping them off at mom’s house and they grab my ankle tight and scream ” I don’t want you to go” with fountains of tears pouring out of their little eyes. I remember more tear filled drives home alone during those times then not. I had to decide what I was going to do about the situation to try to preserve our future. The last thing I wanted was for them to get older and have their mom start rambling on about what a failure and addict I was when they were little.

So in that case I decided that there were two things I could do to minimize the potential for that since I could not erase the truth.The first thing I decided to do was as soon as they were old enough to understand I sat them down for a family meeting, just us. I poured out all the dirt. I told them of my struggles, how I was dealing with it and even the consequences I had suffered as a result the problems. I did not sugar coat anything but took full responsibility for it all.

It did not make anything go away, but looking back I was teaching them a valuable lesson about ownership, about humility and most of all about forgiveness. There were times they heard and saw things that a 4 year and 6-year-old should not see. After owning it all I asked them for forgiveness, and told them what my plan of action was to try to prevent that from occurring  again. To my surprise the response was better than I thought. I felt and still feel a sense of respect that I  earned from them, more so now that they are older for coming clean  and owning my own behavior.

I still wish they did not have to see me like I was at my lowest going to rehab and all that jazz. I was a sight for sore eyes. However I will say that to this day neither of them has ever brought it up or tried to use it against me. Better yet their mother could not do that either. I spoiled her plan to talk bad about me the rest of their lives, by talking bad about myself first. That took the wind out of her sails for that plan anyhow. The other thing I decided to do after the asking for forgiveness, was I decided to insert something unique, like a special thing that was just between us to replace the negative. I just wanted them to love me and know how very ,much I loved them. 

I began making a point of doing something I never experienced as a child, something to reassure them of my love for them even during the trials they had been through. I decide to go against the ” man grain” and be a super affectionate dad, and made a vow that every time I saw them or left them I would hug them, kiss them, and make them look me in the eye as I told them I loved them. All through middle and high school that’s how it was. I was not obnoxious about, you should know.

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I did not cramp their style or embarrass them in front of their friends, I acted in a way that was appropriate for their ages. Instead of a full body hug and big kiss on the cheek in high school we had “code” for our ” I love You’s ” and our giant hugs.

In high school when I was around their friends or dropping them off at an event where kids could hear and see, we had this kind of standing  half- hug- half body bump  thing that basketball players were doing all the time to take the place of me on my knees with my arms wrapped around them hugging them. lol.

The ” I love you” became ” you too” . So when we were leaving each other there was a body bump and a “me too”.  To my great pleasure as they got older and out of high school our communicating that we loved each other did not fade, it got stronger. To this day every single time I talk to the boys on the phone we say the words. No matter where they are, out-of-state for the military, or my youngest son may be in any of the 50 states at any given time due to his career as a professional rodeo bull rider, at the conclusion of our call they always say ” Ok love you”  before they hang up. Always. It may not seem like a big deal but believe me after sitting across the table years before pouring my shame and problems out to them, I was not sure if they would want to even claim me as their dad.

Oh How Things Change With Girls!

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So I have these two little girls you know . I love them so very much and they are sweet girls. They are so agreeable with almost everything I say. I mean just the other day my 10-year-old agreed via a ” Pinky Promise”  that there will be ” No dates til 28!” What a sweetheart. I know she will stick to it too. I mean we all know little girls do not lie. Especially to their daddy. I am so relieved that I do not have to start going out on dates with her and any boy until she is 28! What a peace of mind to know that..

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So with the girls it is a different scenario because they are so very different then the boys. So very sensitive and so open to hurt in their heart. Ever since those girls were born into this world I have felt like those two are my actual heart , divided in two pieces in the form of a couple little girls. Everything that happens to them happens to me. Every time they feel pain, I do too. I try to avoid any extra pain for them as much as possible.

Lets just say it is a whole lot different then when the boys were young, they would almost weekly walk in the door from school or playing outside with a new injury. Sprained ankles, chipped teeth , I recall Jesse with two nose breaks before second grade. It never ended. I can picture hearing one of them yell from their room;

” Dad, my ankle is purple and swollen like 2x normal size and my little toe is broke”

My response? ” There is some ice in the cooler, did you do your homework yet?”

And Life With Girls Now….

Not so much with my girls. The other day after school my oldest was eating a sandwich and I guess she accidentally put a little pepper or onion or something she normally does not eat on it.  Not knowing this  I walked by the table and noticed her eyes were red so I stopped to find out what was going on.

But then when I noticed a tear drop coming from my angel’s eye   I lost it…

I was like ” Emily what is it just tell me, did some boy at school say something to you?

Just give me his name honey don’t you worry that pretty little face .. I’ll teach someone what its like when you make my daughter cry!

It did occur to me a little later that my responses to my sons back in the day varied slightly from how it goes with my daughter.

So yes there are major differences in the way dads react and think of the different ways of boys and girls. Even so I still carried on the tradition of the hug and kiss and ” I love you” each time we part ways and I will tell you this, If I forget once to say It as we part ways, my 10 year old will call me out on it. She does this by repeating what I should have said until I catch on and actually say it..like this

” umm dad? I love you Emmy”  then repeat and repeat until I say ” I love you Emmy” . You know what? I am proud that she reminds me. It means it means something to her. Something I started as a parent is actually turning out good! Even in the midst of storms and trials little things like making sure you have told your children you love them is so critical. it just does not happen enough , at least in my world.

Now before you think I am some kind of monster by the way I blew my son’s sprained ankle off but wa so concerned about  my daughter’s tear-you should know a few things before you start accusing me of favoritism with my sweet angels over the boys.

1- When I realized Jesse’s ankle was truly sprained or broke, I personally got him ice.  Also, I gave him an extra day to wash my truck as that was his day to do it. So you see I have a soft heart for all.

2, You did not see just how BIG of a tear was coming from Emily’s eye. You would have panicked too. Honestly if it was not for me taking her for ice cream and finishing her homework for her that night, she told me herself she would still be bawling! I had to do something.

Well, at least they all say they love me. That is worth it all.

So as I end this I want to share a thought I had a month or so ago during of those times I was just sitting at the park watching the girls play. It has not left me and I think I am going to do this not only for my children but possibly offer it as a service to families down the road who just like the idea. It is likely something you will immediately gravitate towards, or you may just shrug your shoulders and feel like ” whatever floats your boat” ….

I  truly think this idea would and could change and help a lot of people when the time comes in our lives when we will be forced to leave our children on this earth as we age out and expire into eternity. I know that I am for sure going to do it for my kids.

Over the years in my work, I have been involved in my share of family tragedies and deaths of parents, some just were old and died and some taken suddenly. The one thing I notice that is always present during these times is families talking to the siblings about how much their mom or dad loved them and cared about  them. Sadly,  I have sensed doubt in eyes of the children sometimes who left the last time with dad on bad terms, or maybe it just seemed like daddy like the older brother better so the younger sibling lives his life believing he was 2nd best son to his father.

Worse yet on occasion a sudden death of the father in the family will occur tight in the middle of a huge argument between two sides of the family and they are not on speaking terms. I have seen more than not at funerals or get together after a death children thinking back to their childhood days trying to think of some good thing to say about how much pop loved all the kids, as evidenced by the time he _______________ ( you fill in the blank)

The problem is often there just are not a lot of good memories fresh on your mind when an older man like a dad dies. Perhaps like my grandfather who loved me dearly and took me everywhere all the time while he was well, things changed a bit when illness set in. With Alzheimer’s or any sickness the elderly suffer from near end of life, you may hear your beloved father look you in the eye and tell you he has always thought of you as a jackass your entire life! What then?

Or as the daughter is trying to have a last conversaation with daddy in the nursing home before he passes away, maybe he will look at her and tell her she is a no good whore. That she only got married because she got ” Knocked up”!

You think I exaggerate? I am likely making light of the situaiton. In almost every single nursing home around the world, there are dads who are on their way out who have all nbut lost their minds. During the sibling last month seeing him alive they are more likely to hear what a dissappointment they have been or be cursed at than be told hwo much they are loved. So considering all these points and also considering what my girls would be thinking if I was taken to heaven suddenly? Howcan I be sure they will remember hjow proud I am of them and of their accomplishemnts? I cannot. But I could!

So here is the idea I am considering with a partner. We think it would be really neat if dads, or moms could call us up when they are in their golden years or maybe in some cases when their health is going south and they can make sure that when they can no longer express their love for their children and other loved ones ( or in  my case just in case something happened to me unexpectedly) .

We believe that children especially at anby age would benefit in a huge way after losing a parent to click a cd of their mom or dad telling them of their love for them and reminding them of some of the special times they had and try to encourage the family to remember the good stuff instead of only going through the mourning process with not much positive going on in that process.  One neat feature is that we would get all the contact information of the immediate family when we made the tape and ask the persons social worker, caregiver, pastor , or others to make us aware when a condition worsens for a patient, so we can be ready to share the tape with the family at just time.

Usually, as in the movie The Ultimate Gift with James Garner, any tapes after death are about wills and momey or who gets what. This often makes things even worse during an already sad time. For people like myself who just want my kids to be able to hear my voice and see my face again if something happened to me while I was young, this could be an even more powerful tool. When a child loses a parent unexpectedly there is an emotional and physical loss that is tremendous. No more tucking in or night time hugs or taking them to school or contact period.

To be able to put the tape in every day if need be for awhile for a 10 year old would be a huge comfort. To hear the same words in the same voice from your daddy telling you how proud he is and how much he loves them. In the cases of Christians the parent would emphasize the fact that eternity is awaiting all of them and eternity together is the long term plan. The hope something like this could provide a child wouldl be very helpful in my opinion. We all have seen people who have lost a loved one go and try and find something, anything to hold that reminds them of the loved one who died. That is evidence that there is a desire to be close and to be near to that loved one. What better way than to hear directly fromt them?

Anyhow, If anyone has any interest on being involved from a business stamdpoint, I would be open to talking to a private businessman or woman who would like to partner with me on this as I have several other responsibilities including the entire team at Dont Label My Kid! and all the projects we are working on, the blogs and magazine and all that needs continous effort that goes into these things.

I dont need any  contacts for dispensing the product and getting the word out as I am connected to hundreds of nursing and retirement homes where much of this would be focused on. I would be interested strictly in a partner as a silent partner / investor.

I hope you all consider what your childrens needs would be if something were to happen to you. As parents I know you would do anything to ease their pain. I know it is not pleasent to think about but it is reality. We are not promised tomorrow .

Look at it like fire insurance, you have to get it but hope you never need it.

Send any inquiries or feedback to tim@dontlabelmykid.com and if you are interested in partnering with usin the way I mentioned, you can call me on my cell at 386-675-7549.

God Bless everyone- Have a great week!

Tj

A Way To Remember Daddy..

Do you have a plan? A 1-year goal? A 5-year goal? A 10-year plan? Or are you shooting at nothing and hitting it every time? I am taking a serious look at my life and setting some goals on multiple levels. For Overcomers Church, this is the vision:

Core Values of Overcomers Church:

O- Offering ministry to all without discrimination and judgment

V – Valuing a relationship with Christ over manmade rules and religion

E – Exciting and eclectic worship

R – Reconciling people to God through Jesus Christ

C – Compassion and genuine concern

O – Outreach-oriented

M – More concerned about your future than your past

E – Ethnic diversity

R – Restoring broken lives

S – Sending empowered people out to make a difference

We shoot for this. We remind each people of this. Everything we do is centered on this.

What are your goals? Post them on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror (wherever you visit more😂).

Don’t just exist! Exist with purpose!

What Do You Envision?

I have always been fascinated with finding out why people believe the things they do. Working as a behaviorist only made that desire to know stronger because I got to learn so much about why we do and say and believe the things we do. It amazes me even still 20 years later how a sa society we just ” assume ‘ that whatever we hear or see on television or in the paper is gospel truth. How far from the truth that really is. Actually we likely are being played most of the time we read or see something in the media, which is known as ” spin”.

However here now I am talking about things we personally have adopted as truth. For example if you have followed me for any time and read my home page about mental health and the DSM with all of its ” disorders”  you know  that even though that book all the doctors use to diagnose us with disorders and medicate us is called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Of Mental Health disorders, there is not 1 single statistic in it!

cropped-dsm-cash-cow3.jpg

Every single ” disorder” in there was made up by a group of doctors who get together every 4-5 years and just make new ones up, then take a vote to see if it should be added or not the DSM. Its 100% theory. Not a scientific fact for any mental health disorder in there. Now that you know that, how might you feelings change when you take little Jimmy to the psychiatrist and the doctor says he has ” intermittent explosive disorder” and “anti-social personality disorder”- and writes him for an anti-psychotic drug? It happens by the thousands each day. How many parents do you think question the whole thing, or bring up the fact that they are all blind guesses anyhow? Not too many. They do not know. Unless someone like me ( who they like none too much) puts it out there for the public to see the average person just assumes that if a doctor said it is real, it must be.

Actually just the other day this older lady approached me and asked ” Do you think Bi-polar can go away? ” 

I looked at her shakng my head and said ” I dont know ma’am , Im not even sure when it got here”.

I am not focusing on mental health now though. Take almost anything we do , habits or whatever, they came from somewhere. I tell the story of a young bride who was cooking up Easter dinner with her mom one year. The mom took a big knife and cut the end of the ham bone clean off. So the daughter says, ” why did you do that”? Mom looks at her funny and says ” Oh I don’t know honey that is just how we have always cooked our ham and it’s always good” ! So a few minutes later the mom cannot shake that question so she picks up the phone and calls her mom. She asks her mom why they cut the ham bone off the ham before cooking it. The grandmother says ” Oh honey how do I know it must have been part of a recipe or something”. Now both the daughter and mother are even more curious, so they decided to call the great-grandmother and ask her. They get her on the line and ask her too, ” Granny why is it for 60 years we cut the ham bone off the ham each year at Easter before cooking it?”

The great granny pauses and says ” Honey I don’t know why y’all are cutting the bone. We cut the bone because our pan was too small to hold it.

jehovah witness

A few years ago I was approached by a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses outside of a grocery store. As dedicated as ever, they politely asked if they could share their message with me. I said sure and let them go through what they had been trained to say over at the kingdom hall. When they got near the grand finale they reminded me that the bible actually says in Revelations that only 144,000 people will be going to heaven. Next they offered me a spot, if I became a Jehovah’s Witness. So I looked at them and said, ” can you tell me what year the Jehovah’s Witness religion was founded? They glanced at each other than took a quick peek at their notes. The first guy said ” yes sir, around 1850″. I said ” Ok, but let me ask you, did all the millions and millions of people who were long gone before 1850 go to hell? Not a one was a JW.”

They had not got the training on that one so they quickly mounted the shiny bikes and headed for an easier target. The point is these guys were sincerely trying to do good and make a difference but had no clue as to why they were saying what they were saying.

This happens in our lives each day and we all fall for it at some point in our lives. When is it time we do our own research and homework? Maybe our way of thinking is kind of like the ham bone story. Or maybe we are 100% set in our beliefs on something that we truly only believe because grandpa told us.

Sometimes the issues are harmless like the ham bone, and it’s really not a big deal if we are a little off . On the other hand , some of what we profess may have consequences here on earth, or worse yet eternally. I highly recommend knowing why you believe what you believe When it’s all said and done, there are some things we will not be able to blame on granny or grandpa when we should have done the research as adults.  Some things we should be very sure we know that we know that we know we have the truth. What are those things in your life?

TJ

Why We Believe What We Do? You Sure About That? I Bet Not…