What’s Your Problem? Do Something About It-This Is Your Chance. Make A Move.

I hate living in crisis. I thought all people did until I started in the counseling/ coaching field 20 years ago. I found actually that some people have grown up in such a crazy environment with violence and fear all the time, that when a little peace time comes, they feel uncomfortable. Now after many years of coaching I have learned that before any help getting up and out of ruts can be offered, people need to be made aware that they have grown comfortable with dysfunction and be forced into a decision; should I stay or should I go?”

After a decision has been made to move into a life of peace, the work begins, but there is no point in even starting if a person feels unable to move on. These days healing and new beginnings move along much quicker with the methods I use because my job is to get people well. I don’t want you to keep coming back to my office each week, so we can re-hash the misery in the past, keeping wounds fresh all the time. That’s how many therapists make a living. Keep people un-well and keep the bills coming. After all, if all the patients got well, how would this type of therapist pay his bills?

I prefer to help people into the decision-making process, and if they choose to get on with their life, to help them up and out of their rut with the support I feel they need on their end, which is usually free. It is much simpler, less painful, and much less costly than the traditional – go to your therapist, lay down on the couch and get analyzed to death method. I have written over 300 posts here and  get an unbelievable amount of feedback on how, where, who, and all of the questions that go with getting started in the healing process, dealing with issues like depression, suicide, addiction, divorce, abuse, and dozens more issues people are suffering with.

 

 

It is disheartening to look a the amount of people claiming to want help, then compare it to the actual number who follow-up with me. Much of it is due to that comfort factor I mentioned earlier, but the bottom line is that we as humans are procrastinators. We avoid doing anything until it slaps us in the face so many times we have to address  it. I started this projected to help people on-line as I have in person for 20 years. I make getting well much less painful than some ways.

I never turn anyone away for any reason other than refusal to comply. I work with adults, teens, entire families, and every possible population you can think of. After 3 years of doing this, I am not feeling that a very high percentage of those reaching out saying they need help are actually following through with our plans. The success rate of the people I work with is very high with 8/10 saying they have moved on into a self supportive stage without the need for weekly consulting from me ( after just a few months)

It’s the initial pulling the trigger, making the move, making contact that is the struggle. So as we start a new month here, I am going to challenge every reader, follower, visitor, client, or contact of mine to help a friend or loved one make that first move. Be there when they cannot find a reason to even lift the phone up and help lift it. DO SOMETHING.

If you have a coach/therapist that you use and prefer then use them. If not, connect them to me by this email address tim@dontlabelmykid.com– I will respond personally very soon and get started. Every person has a different need, there is no cookie cutter method so after we all talk ( you can be in on the first call if they wish) then we will come up with a plan that works for all!

Make November a new start for someone. Excuses are weak and old, we all know someone to help. I challenge all of you to take the first step. Leave your contact info and good time on the email and we will get moving!

tj

 

 

 

The 5 ( last minute) Secrets Hillary Has That May Just Pull Her Out Of The Pit..

It has all been looking good for President Trump. Assuming what we have heard in the media lately is even 25% true. Lookout world, The woman is looking like she is about to pull another one out of her arsenal.

This week through some excellent sources I have at some very exclusive community colleges and other even higher sources, I was able to find out 5 things that are about to become public that may have the public rethinking their voting stances.

1- It will be announced very soon that Hillary has recently completed a comprehensive course in Windows, is becoming a daily using of Gmail, and , get this; for her dissertation she (allegedly) will be laying out a strategy on incorporating sharia law into America using POWERPOINT! This could be trouble .

2-A huge revelation regarding the whole Monica Lewinsky scandal could be losing strength …as Hillary has now come forward and announced that she was never worried about the accusations of Bill and Monica,  because as it turns out, Monica is a distant relative of the Clinton’s. She claims it was her idea that Bill mentor her, and that the media was just blowing smoke up, well, just blowing smoke.

3-The Benghazi  ” I was running for cover or coming under attack” thing claimed to be made by Hillary, is according to her camp a statement that her husband actually made many times when he spotted Hillary approaching the ” Tutoring Offices ” at the White house, for her safety, of course her spokesman says.

4-A very slick move by Hillary to gain last-minute black vote was made this week after she announced that she was considering Joe Biden for Secretary of State. She is obviously hoping that his statement a few years ago to the NAACP about ” putting y’all back in chains again” will work one more time. Of course they do have to locate which nursing home he is residing in first.

5-Lastly, but by no means least, this big FBI new investigation is yet another spin by Hillary to take the spotlight off of the real issues. It is not about emails (even if it was, she has an A.A in Windows now)- but its a victory for her . The real FBI deal is that if she is elected president, she only has to serve half of the time she normally would for her acts of treason and the other 35 of lying under oath when she leaves office.

So, keep an eye out this week, Hillary is up to something…..

 

tj

Forgive To Live- Why Its Critical To Forgive-Anyone.

I can’t remember the amount of times I have heard someone say ” I could never forgive them for that” or ” Ill never forgive him/her for that”. On the surface it sounds reasonable, especially after you hear the circumstances involved. Sometimes it is sickening and disgusting what people have done to others. At first it sounds plausible to put up the ” unforgiven ” sign by their names and move on, thinking that somehow we have hurt them back.

In reality, it is we who suffer from being unwilling to forgive. Holding onto our forgiveness is one of the most destructive and hateful things we can do-to ourselves. Before I go any further I want to answer a question that I know some of you are thinking. The question being ” why should I forgive them, I will never forget what they did”. Forgiveness and forgetting are two separate issues. I can forgive my father for some horrific things that have affected me and mine into the 2nd generation. However I will not forget, and I would never put myself or anyone else in the position to be hurt by him again.

Forgiveness does not = tolerance. Forgiveness does not = acceptance. Forgiveness does not = erasing the memory. Forgiveness to others means we deliver the same thing to others that we want so badly from the ones we have hurt. Forgiveness to others means the forgiveness we ask God for can flow through us into other people and that we can enjoy the same forgiveness from God that we want sometimes to withhold from others. In the case of forgiveness it really makes no difference if you acknowledge God or not, it is a law in place just like gravity. We cannot change the consequences of gravity whether we like it or not. I hate the fact that if I walk to close to the edge of my roof, I will fall and get injured or even worse. Does this change the effects of violating gravity? Of course not.

So how does forgiveness compare to gravity anyway? It is relevant in the sense that we are made to love and forgive, not to hate and keep account of other’s wrongs. Therefore if we go against that truth and hold back on forgiving, we end up getting clogged up inside like a stopped up toilet. Everything about it is crappy. We may not understand why we are feeling so angry and irritated, and why we feel so bitter. It is because withholding the forgiveness we were meant to give means it stays within us. It dwells in us and becomes bitterness, anger and many times physical illness. In order to release any clogs in our own feelings and enjoy the Grace we get to enjoy from God, we must release what we are holding in the form of un-forgiveness to make room for our own forgiveness to be realized.

You have all seen people who mourn the death of a loved one, to the point that they die still in mourning. Many times they wear only black until the day they die even. The loss didn’t just kill the loved one, but them too. There is a time to mourn, and a time to dance and a time for everything. Not any of those events are to last forever in this world. Just as we have seen the mourning that seems life long of another human, we have also seen the lifelong bitterness in one who has never forgiven others on something. They literally eat themselves away with the cancer of anger inside. That clogged up hole in our soul just wont allow us to enjoy the forgiveness we ask of others and of God. There is a conflict of interest here.

                       WARNING!  RELIGOUS ALERT! RELIGOUS ALERT!   WARNING!

The words God, sin, and Jesus appear in the following paragraphs…just giving warning -Read at your own risk!   Lol

Lastly, and this is geared for believers in Christ or those considering Christ, who of us is without sin? I surely don’t want to stand before God and weigh out my sins against another’s and hope I had less..

The bible says there is ” None righteous No not one”. We all need forgiveness. How can we possibly go before God daily and ask for forgiveness, but carry a backpack full of hatred and un-forgiveness in our own spiritual backpack? I think I know the answer. Some of us truly believe that some sins are worse than others, and we get to decide who deserves forgiveness. The truth is, not one of us could ever do enough to ” earn ” forgiveness from God. The whole reason Christ came and died in our place was so those who accept Him and ask for forgiveness can have a way to stand before God one day with full knowledge that He sees us through the blood of Jesus, not through the list of sins we had.

BTW-There is no sin that cannot be forgiven by the blood of Jesus, except for refusing Him ( Blaspheme of the Holy Spirit)

The thief on the cross next to Jesus never had time to ask forgiveness of anyone he hurt or stole from. He never had time to do a bunch of good deeds to level out his sin scale. His only hope was to turn to Christ and ask Him to remember him and forgive him. The answer might offend many of us who still think we are ” good” people or ” better than most” because we really want to believe we have a secret pass to heaven because we didn’t murder or commit any ” major sin”. Jesus simply said to the repentant thief ” I say to you today you will be with me in paradise”

Hold on just a minute Lord, we may think. That is not fair! I lived a good life and he did nothing good. It just isn’t fair. Do we really want fair? The Lord said that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God eternal life. You see, sin is a disease we all have, like cancer. Some people’s disease presents in outward ways, like a thief, or an addict. These are the more likely to be judged by the ones who sin is a little more secret. Then there are the ” secret sinners” who love to point out others visible sin while they themselves may be involved in much more vile sin themselves. The bottom line is we all have sin. If we want fair, it is death, according to God. If we want eternal life we accept the gift of the cross and ask God and thank God for the forgiveness that we already posses as a child of the King.

The death on the cross should have been and should be ours. He made a way out for us.

You need not go right to the person who hurt you and have a celebration while telling them you forgive them. You can simply say to God

Lord, anyone who has ever accused, abused, neglected or affected me in a hurtful way, I release them by forgiving them, and therefore release myself from stopping up my own forgiveness from flowing daily that I need so much from you.”

Maybe it will be a long time if ever that you say it face to face, although it is recommended if possible. Even if you just tell God and from your heart release them from un-forgiveness, you will begin to notice a weight lifted.

There is one other option. We can roll the dice and when we die- argue our case before the Lord. We could just tell Him thanks for the cross thing, but, I’m good and whip out a list of good deeds…

As for me I think I will take the easy way out. Take the free gift and be thankful every day for it. It doesn’t give me a license to sin and does not make me a better person then others. I am not even close to being able to get myself into heaven.

But I do know someone who can, and did take care of that.

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Blood well shed

Drop the weight inside you today and forgive. Then you can move on with your life.

 

tj

 

Its MAILBAG Time! Questions Only We Dare Address..

Dear DLMK-

Enough is enough. I have watched my family members be harassed , accused and abused enough. Its time I speak out loud and proud about the accomplishments of these loved ones and shine some light on Mr. Trump-who is running against one of my family members, who I could not be more proud of, God bless her.

First off, I would like to point out that Trump is a greedy man. Does anyone realize that he filed for corporate bankruptcy 4x before he became a ” billi0naire”-?   Just so everyone knows, he isn’t the ONLY billionaire in the world. There are 1200 billionaires in this world! See, what is the big deal? I might note that they all filed bankruptcy during their careers, so it seems they are just all cheaters. Plus he has been known to have been a womanizer.

Now allow me to share how some ” working” people I love through blood sweat and tears earn nearly as much. You may note that Mrs. Clinton rushes around the world , draining herself to share important messages, for just 200k per speech. That’s barely enough to pay for the private investigator she has on her husband! Out of love, and for his safety, she does it.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/theoval/2013/07/12/hillary-clinton-speeches-20000-bill-clinton/2511459/

In kind, Mr Clinton has earned as much as 700,000$ per speech in recent years, again sharing issues of great concern. The man as far as I can remember at 12 years old was always ” tutoring” some young person in his office -in addition to his other duties.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/theoval/2013/07/12/hillary-clinton-speeches-20000-bill-clinton/2511459/

 

I think its time people stand up proudly for what these saints have done for this country. I just had to boldly share-thanks.

Signed ,

C. Mezvinsky


Dear Mrs ” Mezvinsky”-

Your name sounds familiar but I cannot remember why. Anyhow, after some consideration we have decided that the speech money for both of your (cough cough) loved ones, should actually be going the best lawyers in the world to defend them in their 30-50 counts so far that they should be charged with against this country. We took into consideration Mrs. Clintons bravery in ” coming under heavy fire” once in a well published incident out of the country.

But after learning that she doesn’t know how to use email, we have to go with Trump. As for Mr Clinton, his foster care volunteering is, umm, notable. However its still a slight lean to Mr. Trump.

Thanks for writing Chelsea. We regret to inform you that we cannot pay the invoice for 75k you submitted to us for writing.

DLMK