I hate living in crisis. I thought all people did until I started in the counseling/ coaching field 20 years ago. I found actually that some people have grown up in such a crazy environment with violence and fear all the time, that when a little peace time comes, they feel uncomfortable. Now after many years of coaching I have learned that before any help getting up and out of ruts can be offered, people need to be made aware that they have grown comfortable with dysfunction and be forced into a decision; should I stay or should I go?”
After a decision has been made to move into a life of peace, the work begins, but there is no point in even starting if a person feels unable to move on. These days healing and new beginnings move along much quicker with the methods I use because my job is to get people well. I don’t want you to keep coming back to my office each week, so we can re-hash the misery in the past, keeping wounds fresh all the time. That’s how many therapists make a living. Keep people un-well and keep the bills coming. After all, if all the patients got well, how would this type of therapist pay his bills?
I prefer to help people into the decision-making process, and if they choose to get on with their life, to help them up and out of their rut with the support I feel they need on their end, which is usually free. It is much simpler, less painful, and much less costly than the traditional – go to your therapist, lay down on the couch and get analyzed to death method. I have written over 300 posts here and get an unbelievable amount of feedback on how, where, who, and all of the questions that go with getting started in the healing process, dealing with issues like depression, suicide, addiction, divorce, abuse, and dozens more issues people are suffering with.
It is disheartening to look a the amount of people claiming to want help, then compare it to the actual number who follow-up with me. Much of it is due to that comfort factor I mentioned earlier, but the bottom line is that we as humans are procrastinators. We avoid doing anything until it slaps us in the face so many times we have to address it. I started this projected to help people on-line as I have in person for 20 years. I make getting well much less painful than some ways.
I never turn anyone away for any reason other than refusal to comply. I work with adults, teens, entire families, and every possible population you can think of. After 3 years of doing this, I am not feeling that a very high percentage of those reaching out saying they need help are actually following through with our plans. The success rate of the people I work with is very high with 8/10 saying they have moved on into a self supportive stage without the need for weekly consulting from me ( after just a few months)
It’s the initial pulling the trigger, making the move, making contact that is the struggle. So as we start a new month here, I am going to challenge every reader, follower, visitor, client, or contact of mine to help a friend or loved one make that first move. Be there when they cannot find a reason to even lift the phone up and help lift it. DO SOMETHING.
If you have a coach/therapist that you use and prefer then use them. If not, connect them to me by this email address firstname.lastname@example.org– I will respond personally very soon and get started. Every person has a different need, there is no cookie cutter method so after we all talk ( you can be in on the first call if they wish) then we will come up with a plan that works for all!
Make November a new start for someone. Excuses are weak and old, we all know someone to help. I challenge all of you to take the first step. Leave your contact info and good time on the email and we will get moving!