Parenting Series- The Teaching Interaction- You Teach All Day- Make It Good

Whether we like it or not we are teaching our kids every time we interact with them. We teach them something whether it be good or bad, helpful or hurtful we are teachers. This post is going to give you a simple way of making sure your teaching interactions are doing some good for you and your child, that the interaction is going to bear good fruit. The average interaction with our kids begins with a neutral or a negative statement and  ends in the same way. Now we will introduce a few steps that we can follow each time we interact with our children that will insure that we make at least a few positive statements no matter what the crux of the matter is. Here are some steps;


2-Description of appropriate behavior ( that you are addressing)

3-Description of inappropriate behavior

4-consequence (positive or negative)




Don’t be discouraged !This 7 step interaction goes very quickly but is just divided up into steps to make sure we include all the steps. Now we will practice an interaction in which a child has not demonstrated the desired behavior, and the behavior is accepting no for an answer. The child got a no answer and said ” that sucks” instead of the desired ” Ok” response. Follow along.

“Larry, I need to talk to you for a minute”-

Larry: What Now?

You; Well, I wanted to tell you that i am so proud of you for getting a C or better in all but 2 of your classes. You really worked hard on those.You did a good job following instructions on those assignments. The 2 other classes though you didn’t follow instructions to turn in enough extra credit to get a C in those classes. You did earn a consequence of no outside privileges after school until you bring those grades up though. Lets just practice following instructions ok? I will give you an instruction and you should look at me , say ok, do the task, and check back. ( do role play)

You: Ok you did a really good job of following instructions! So I know you can get those grades up you are so smart and I cant wait to see your progress report!


That is a 7 step teaching interaction and it goes by very quickly once you know the steps to incorporate. Use this format when you need to either issue a positive consequence or a negative one. 

Skill for today Appropriately Disagree-

1- Wait 15 minutes after you get a decision you do not agree with

2- Ask the person (parent/teacher) if you can appropriately disagree

3- Explain your feelings without raising your voice or eye rolling

4-Accept the outcome by saying ok



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I am a social worker and family coach for 20+ years. I have had around 50 foster kids , worked in every and any type of facility from juvenile centers to clinical treatment centers to schools for expelled youth . I've been successful with starting schools for violent offenders , training hospital staff , entire counties of public school teachers, parents and many more on behavior management and helping families in trouble . I have been honored to speak on many occasions and to teach professionals what is wrong with our systems for kids and adults, and how I was able to have successful outcomes in all the programs that I ran. And yes- I do have all the accolades and awards and pats on the back from high places and degrees but I'm not in this for that recognition. I appreciate the acknowledgement I've received over the years, but I don't even have an " I love me" wall in the I don't even know where those things are anymore ..LOL I have lived a hard life myself and grew up in a very violent and abusive home. My family Is filled with depression , addiction and suicide. I also have had to navigate my way through these areas . I use my own experience to help others. I hope you will join the awesome people who follow me and share their stories. This Is a place to come to keep it real. We all struggle . So on this site we keep it legit. No judgement. What are you waiting for? Follow! tj

Categories At Risk Families, For mental health workers, Labelling Kids, Motivation, Parenting, Positive Reinforcement, School Behavior Modification, Self worth, Teenagers!Leave a comment

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