Parenting Series- The Teaching Interaction- You Teach All Day- Make It Good

Whether we like it or not we are teaching our kids every time we interact with them. We teach them something whether it be good or bad, helpful or hurtful we are teachers. This post is going to give you a simple way of making sure your teaching interactions are doing some good for you and your child, that the interaction is going to bear good fruit. The average interaction with our kids begins with a neutral or a negative statement and  ends in the same way. Now we will introduce a few steps that we can follow each time we interact with our children that will insure that we make at least a few positive statements no matter what the crux of the matter is. Here are some steps;

1-Praise/Empathy

2-Description of appropriate behavior ( that you are addressing)

3-Description of inappropriate behavior

4-consequence (positive or negative)

5-Practice 

6-Feedback 

7-Praise

Don’t be discouraged !This 7 step interaction goes very quickly but is just divided up into steps to make sure we include all the steps. Now we will practice an interaction in which a child has not demonstrated the desired behavior, and the behavior is accepting no for an answer. The child got a no answer and said ” that sucks” instead of the desired ” Ok” response. Follow along.

“Larry, I need to talk to you for a minute”-

Larry: What Now?

You; Well, I wanted to tell you that i am so proud of you for getting a C or better in all but 2 of your classes. You really worked hard on those.You did a good job following instructions on those assignments. The 2 other classes though you didn’t follow instructions to turn in enough extra credit to get a C in those classes. You did earn a consequence of no outside privileges after school until you bring those grades up though. Lets just practice following instructions ok? I will give you an instruction and you should look at me , say ok, do the task, and check back. ( do role play)

You: Ok you did a really good job of following instructions! So I know you can get those grades up you are so smart and I cant wait to see your progress report!

 

That is a 7 step teaching interaction and it goes by very quickly once you know the steps to incorporate. Use this format when you need to either issue a positive consequence or a negative one. 

Skill for today Appropriately Disagree-

1- Wait 15 minutes after you get a decision you do not agree with

2- Ask the person (parent/teacher) if you can appropriately disagree

3- Explain your feelings without raising your voice or eye rolling

4-Accept the outcome by saying ok

tj

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