Everyone makes mistakes. Parents all know this, and sometimes we have to address uncomfortable issues with our children, as a result of decisions we made when we were younger. Even a wise and mature parent makes the occasional bad call, which sometimes necessitates a family meeting or if we are lucky, just a quick apology in private.
Parenting is an on-going life long journey of learning. For those reeling to be great parents, searching out every possible resource to protect and teach their children what is right, it is just that. A journey.
There is another group of people that I am not so sure about. Not so sure if they should have a “parent card ” or not. I am not the judge of anyone, and do not claim to be an expert on all parenting issues, however having worked with thousands of families with serious troubles, and being a parent myself of boys and girls from ages 3-19, I feel I have a pretty good idea about what NOT to do when you decide to become a parent. I put together a basic list of tips for starters;
1- Do NOT try to balance the ” thug ” life, and be a parent.
2- Do NOT use your children as pawns, to hurt your ex or to get your way. They know what you are doing. It devalues them.
3- Do NOT act like it is ” cool ” to promote your child being aggressive and teaching them the latest death punch. I should not have to mention this, but also, please do not set up fights for your children and video tape them for you tube. You are a moron if you do this, on many
4- Do not be one of those parents who downplays the importance of guidance and direction in this crazy world. One of the scariest statements I hear from parents is this ” I figure they will find their way in this world – I give them freedom to make their own choices ” Really?
5- Do NOT be a hothead around your child, threatening to physically hurt them if they do not comply. That is a cowardly and abusive method. Grow up.
6- Do NOT only find what your child does wrong, but find things they do right, and point those out much more than the things they did wrong. You will never change a negative behavior pattern by constantly pointing out what is wrong. You only crush their spirit. You must catch them being good, and recognize what you want to see in them, in order to see more of the good stuff. Try 10 positives to every negative comment each day. The average parent is at about 15 negatives for any positive statements.
The list is endless, and most is just common sense. So since we have this massive problem with parenting, what do we do about it? The children suffer, a the apple does not fall far from the tree, right? Maybe we need a ” parenting card ” of some sort, that you have to have in order to be allowed the opportunity to raise a child. We have licenses to operate cars, guns, and just about every other thing these days. Yet the most precious of all things is just thrown in the hands of anyone who knows how to make one.
I realize the idea would be hard to make happen, and hard to enforce. However, it has gotten so out of control that we need to think outside of the box now. What are some of your ideas on how to regulate who can care for kids and how we can prevent the terrible abuse and killings by parents that is so prevalent in our society today?